Faithfulness

Okay, so it's been almost 5 months since I've last updated this blog.  Again, sue me.  Really things had been so boring up until October 28.  I work at school, we had the best football season in school history, life was routine.  Wake up, go to school, go to football, come home, sleep, repeat.  I really didn't feel like boring y'all with the boring details.  There were some awesome moments though, like coming back from being down 31-0 to beat Dutchtown 40-37, and beating Eagles Landing on a last second fumble recovery in the end zone.  Stuff like that.

This week I was reading in Hebrews 11 about the heroes of our Judeo-Christian faith.  I read about how God told them to do something, they did it, and He credited it to them as righteousness.  Now, the Bible also says elsewhere that there is no one who is righteous.  No, not one.  So, I have struggled with righteousness in the past, but I heard somewhere that the "Breastplate of Righteousness" is not our own righteousness, but rather God's righteousness that He armors us with.  Nothing is getting through that armor.  So, when we are obedient to God, we show that we love Him.  God's love language is obedience.  I have learned that no matter how much time I spend reading the Bible or praying to Him, singing praises or telling Him I love Him, my relationship means nothing if I don't obey Him.  So, in the past few years He has been showing me how to obey Him.  This year had been a very rough year for me up until October 28.  This week God showed me all the ways I had been faithful to Him this past year.  Now, by saying I was faithful I am not saying that I was joyful about it.  I just did what I was told and soldiered on.


If you go back through my blog entries, you will be caught up to July 24.  I was faithful to go to Arkansas, Willow Falls, and Locust Grove.  By the grace of God, I came into Locust Grove with a great attitude, which I still have :)  Sure, I wish I made more money, but God has totally provided.  Living at home has not been that bad.  The only expense I really have is gas, which has taken up half of my total income thus far.  Still, I have everything I need.  All glory to God in that :)  I was faithful, and He has blessed me.

Now, the biggest thing that has happened this year has come in the way of relationships.  I had been praying long and hard for my future wife.  My prayer this year became "God, I know I can't get married right now, but please let me at least meet her and start building a relationship."  If you go back to my post about my standards, you'll see the 5 standards that God has laid on my heart while I was in Arkansas:

1. Christian
2. Single
3. Virgin
4. Non-Divorced
5. Close in proximity

I had given up hope that a "5-pt girl" existed.  It got to the point where I was just ready to give up altogether one day.  That day was October 28, when I met the woman who is now my girlfriend.  On October 29 I drove to see her.  On November 1 I drove to see her again.  I had found the rare 5-pt girl!  On November 2, God gave me the green light to pursue her.  Then she left on November 3 for 2 weeks in Ireland.  Talk about bad timing :/  Still, God knew what He was doing, and when she came back from Ireland we began building a friendship.  On November 19 she became my girlfriend.  Since then, we have just spent what time we have together growing and getting to know each other.  She truly is amazing, and all glory goes to God for introducing me to His daughter.  I had always heard it said that a relationship should be like a triangle where God is at the top, and the two of you are the bottom points.  As you move closer to God, you move closer to each other.  That is so true!  My relationship with God has exploded, and He has allowed my relationship with my girlfriend to explode too.  He separates us for days at a time, but that's so that we can refocus on Him and grow.  But when He lets us be together, we grow together.  I could write a lot more on this subject, but all that to say:  I was faithful to God with those 5 standards, and even though I was about to give up, and my belief was shot to pieces, He was still faithful to me.  This relationship is completely in His hands, and I pray He continues to bless us and teach us how to be the man and woman He created us to be.  Separately or together.  Soli Deo Gloria.

In closing, the sobering thing to remember is that a lot of the famous faithful did not live to see the very rewards they were promised.  God's timetable is not limited by a human lifetime, sadly.  God exists for His own glory, not ours.  We just get to benefit from His glory from time to time.  If ending my relationship brings Him the most glory, then it will end.  If my relationship will bring Him the most glory, then it will grow.  This is not about me and her, it is about Him.  When you attempt to read the Bible, read it asking yourself "What does this passage tell me about the nature of God?"  Don't read it as "How can this passage help me have a happy life?".  If you're in a hard place concerning faith right now, let me encourage you that it gets better.  Maybe you need to take your eyes off of yourself and see what God is up to in the world around you.  Remember the Christian life is about glorifying God, not having Him glorify you.  I love you all.

Soli Deo Gloria.  Amen.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley

Wildcat

Okay, so it has been close to another month since I've written.  Sue me.  Just kidding, please don't.

I spent another amazing week at Willow Falls.  I was working during Icthus without being a counselor.  It was pretty rough because my pride wanted me to jump right in.  Still, I was able to work hard and do well with the Willow Falls staff.  I hate goodbyes, so I left quietly.  I really miss everyone up there.

However, God called me back home for a reason.  My new football team was going to an FCA football camp at Tennessee Tech University, and the head coach thought it would be a great ice breaker for me.  It turns out that it was.  Also, it was only for 3 days.  Two of those days were halved by traveling.  The bus ride was long and slow, but we made it home safely.  At camp, I worked with the linemen.  I am looking forward to this season with those linemen.  At the last night meeting, around 100 players made decisions for Christ, including several on my team!  That was the highlight.  These guys are serious, will get baptized soon, and I hope to help disciple them.  Either that, or just provide a good role model.  I'm still not A+ discipler material (if that isn't a word, I just made it one).

I'm still really worried because I don't know what my parapro job will entail.  I'm also not ready to be a coach, and it will be a lot more learning.  Also, I will have to take online classes, so it's back to school.  I just need to loop Tedashii's "Work" all day.


We watched The Blind Side on the way to camp, and I realized just how much I dislike that movie.  The first time I saw it, I loved it, but the more I watch it the more I want to punch Sandra Bullock in the face.  Ok, not really, but I want to at least punch a wall.  Quinton Aaron is good, but I wonder if Michael Oher was really that Teddy Bear-ish?  I have to ask, is "Protective Instincts" really a testable variable?  Tim McGraw was just in the movie because they needed a big name for a man who didn't really have to say much since Sandra Bullock had every line.  The kid who played SJ was cool.  The best part of the movie was Lily Collins...playing Collins...I see what they did there.  Still, Lily, call me.  Your father is an amazing artist.  Also, the whole part with the mean old NCAA lady cornering poor Michael...just...poor attempt to make controversy.  I get the whole booster thing, but the way they did it in the movie was over the top.  The NCAA should have really cracked down on the benefits the coaches promised to SJ.  The part of the movie that made me laugh the most were the cameos of famous SEC coaches.  None of whom were still coaching at that school when the movie was made.  With all due respect to the University of Tennessee, I hope they lose every game, I agree with the Tuohys in their hatred.  Every line Coach Fulmer spoke made me laugh.  Same with Coach Holtz.  I like Coach Nutt, Coach Tuberville, and Coach Orgeron.  I even like Coach Saban.  Don't get me wrong, I respect Coach Fulmer and Coach Holtz.  No disrespect to them.  The greatest part of the coaching montage was the fake UGA coach in the fake UGA shirt who seemed scared of Coach Fulmer.  Why even put that in the movie?  I heard that UGA didn't even recruit Oher.  Still, despite the movie, good job for Michael Oher.  He is a good player, and has worked hard for what he has received.  Good job for the Tuohys as well.  I have never met them, and I hope they are satisfied with how they were portrayed.  Again, Lily Collins, call me.

Another thing that has been on my mind lately is the song "Call Me Maybe".  It is quite catchy.  After careful deliberation I have determined that I dislike the song largely because I doubt a girl would ever do that to me.  So, I confess my jealousy, repent of my sin, and wish Carly Rae Jepsen all the best.

Well, until next time.  Go Cats!

For the Kingdom,
Stuart

Battle for the Campfire 2

I have a report from the campfire Thursday night at Camp Icthus. One of my boys trusted Christ! Also, Mr. Sam and I knew we were walking into a spiritual battle for the campfire just as we had experienced last year. Last year we felt demons actually charge the kids around the fire, and we prayed defense. Thursday night the demons did not charge, and we felt the presence of God defending us. I actually felt the darkness leave. Apparently one demon stayed back to scout because Sam and I prayed against it. We heard a honking shrieking sound come at us from the woods, and it startled us! It sounded like nothing either of us had ever heard. Then the shrieks grew fainter as it flew away. We heard flapping wings and branches breaking! Ms. Cindy also heard it, and she was praying protection too. She told us Friday morning that when she and her girls got back to the cabin, one of her girls (Madison) asked her who the man in white was. Sam and I were both wearing white, but she said the man was huge, had a sword and shield, and was standing on top of the boys cabin! I asked Madison Friday morning what she saw, and she said she had seen three such men. One to the left of the cabin, one on top of the cabin, and one on the road to the right of the cabin...right where I had felt the enemy leave! I really can't make this stuff up. It is both exhilarating and terrifying. Sam and I were both waiting for something to charge straight at us out of the woods, but nothing did. It just honked at us. God was with us last night. I wish I could feel that every night. Oh, also, I did not have my stick or shield. I relied on God to do the fighting. For the Kingdom, Stuart

A View From The Bottom

Wow, again it has been about a month since I last posted.  I also see that I have at least one reader in Alaska, which is fun.

After about a month in the basement, I must say I am a lot more hopeful than I was the last time I wrote.  I had about 2 weeks where I battled self-loathing, etc.  A few months ago, I decided that I needed to work outdoors in some capacity this summer.  I had 2 options.  The first option was a job in Athens where I knew the owner's family.  The second was to work at Willow Falls where Camp Icthus is.  The Falls usually hires 2 hands for the summer.  I procrastinated a lot in the pursuit of both options, and felt that both passed me by.  Along with working at Willow Falls, I wanted to work all 3 sessions of Camp Icthus.  Since I was uncertain about where I would be those weeks, I couldn't commit to anything.  Again, I felt like a chance had passed me by.  So, I sat in the basement and made myself sad.  The good thing about despair is that God uses it to bring people to Him.  When you have nothing to hold on to you reach for the nearest thing, and God is always there.  Sometimes He has to sink the boat to make you realize you can walk on water.  I began to pursue His Word again, and He told me to start taking steps towards my goals.  So, I went to WFBC and asked if I could help with their summer camp.  That was a no.  I had only asked about the week before, so that was obvious.  Still, I had to take a shot.  I went to CBC and asked if I could help with their summer camp.  That was a yes, but it would cost $275.  I had the money, so I said I would go.  That next week, I journeyed up to Willow Falls to visit my dear friends for 3 days and 2 nights.  While I was there, I was asked if I still wanted to work.  I said yes.  So, I would work the week before and the week after Icthus 1, and hopefully be a counselor all 3 sessions of Icthus, for a grand total of 5 weeks as close to Heaven as I will get on this earth.  I was happy!  In order to do Willow Falls, however, I had to give up Daytona.  So, I gave up Daytona.  I found out about a week or so later that I would only be a counselor for Icthus 1, which narrowed my time to 3 weeks, but the Falls made it sound like I could work during the other 2 sessions of Icthus so that I could stick around.  Either way, with 3 weeks or 5, I will achieve my goal of working at the Falls, and being a counselor for Icthus.  I am so happy to be getting out of the basement for a few weeks!  I still have no clue where I will end up in August, and I still do not have a job lined up, but I can rejoice in knowing that God still wants to use me and provide opportunities for me to rejoice in Him.

I got called in for a job interview this past Tuesday morning for a job that is not in sports.  I will find out about that position next week, so I won't mention any more about it.  I will be out of commission from Sunday, June 17, to Saturday, July 21, since I will be up on the mountain without constant internet.  I will have my phone, so if you want to get in touch with me text or call.  I will post an update when I return :)

I don't know how many total people read my blog, and I know it is not about numbers.  I could point to several other more-spiritual blogs, etc.  Still, thank you for reading.  Feel free to comment on anything.  I love feedback.  I have not been a very good representation of Christ lately, and it shows in my lack of posts, but if I just posted about the "holy" moments then I would not seem real to you.  I have so much on my mind about how the world is going on right now, and once I get my thoughts together I will post more.  In the meantime, read Habakkuk and see how God must punish evil.  If His people are evil, He must discipline them.  God does not let you live your life in any way you want!  I can write more on that later, or have a one-on-one discussion, etc.  Again, thank you for reading.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley

Standards Part Deux

A while ago I posted what I consider to be standards for my potential mate.  I was met with mixed responses.  I want to clarify something by posting four standards that I heard in church that I hold myself to.

1.  Priest
2.  Prophet
3.  Protector
4.  Provider

As I understand it, to be a Priest I must intercede on behalf of my family.  I must honor my wife, and present her as a pure queen to God at the end of our life.  I will exist to make her better.  All selfish desires should be executed.  As if that were not enough, when I have children I must present them as holy princes and princesses at the end as well.  So whatever free time I had from serving my wife is now given to my children.  Now, like any 26-yr old male, I enjoy my freedom.  I enjoy being able to have my own place, and do with it what I will.  However, also as a 26-yr old male, I am completely over it.  I hate being alone.  I'm ready for companionship.  I feel that I am ready to undertake this responsibility knowing full well that I have no idea what I am getting into!  I listen to the advice given by my male mentors, and I take notes.  I understand that I will never be ready, but I'm ready to walk the road.

To be a Prophet, I must also act as God's mouthpiece to my family.  I should set the example for them to follow.  I should discipline, chastise, etc. in a graceful fashion.  I should not exasperate my children.  I must listen to God's Law, and enforce it in my house.  I will train my children in the way they should go so that when they are older they will not stray from it.  Again, I am flawed, so I foresee that I will have to do a lot of repenting and apologizing.  Fortunately, blessedly, I have had my pride systematically beaten out of me for a while now.  I have gone from humility to humiliation.  My family will have to have a lot of grace for me, but they can know that I will give them everything I have.  I feel that I am also ready to pursue this course of action.  I understand that I will never be ready, but I'm ready to walk the road.

At first glance, Protector is pretty simple.  I have a gun, I have several sticks, I have fists, etc.  Trust me, I'm ready to destroy any boy who looks at my daughter.  However, over the course of the past year or so I have learned that protection goes beyond the physical.  At our College retreat in Pigeon Forge, TN, last year I saw a friend of mine protect his girlfriend from an offensive stage performance by leading her out in the middle of it.  At the same retreat, I saw my friend clear a table and place it under his pregnant wife's feet so she could be comfortable.  These are just a few of the examples that show me that protection goes into the mental, emotional, and spiritual realms as well.  I know full well where certain sins entered my life, and how my parents failed to protect me from them.  Even though they could not protect me forever, there were still clear moments where the shield was gone.  Since it's my job to present my family members as holy royalty at the end, that begins with the day to day.  I can see where I fail to guard my mind in certain areas, and I have no clue how to start in their lives.  Still, as situations become apparent, and the Spirit reveals, I feel that I will be able to adapt.  I know full well that measures need to be taken now, and so I am.  Again, I will not be prepared for everything, but my own mistakes will act as a guidebook for the protection of my family.  I understand that I will never be ready, but I'm ready to walk the road.

Now we come to the swift, strong kick in the balls.  I am unable to be a Provider right now.  For years I have sat in Fight Club, and heard about the dangerous 30-yr old who sits in his parents' basement and plays World of Warcraft.  I have heard open disdain for such a person.  A man must have a job, a man must have his own place, etc.  For the past few years, I have had that.  "I have a Bible, I have a job, and I don't live with my parents." was a classic pick-up line from Pastor Mark Driscoll, that I jokingly could use.  Now, however, I cannot.  After 8 years of education, I have a Master's Degree.  Hooray!  I have achieved what many people have not.  However, my industry is very selective and I have no job.  I am seeking other employment opportunities currently, but nothing has broken yet.  I have moved back home for the time being which kills my eligibility, thereby negating my need for marital standards in the first place.  Every part of my pride is gone.  Just, gone.  It's not for lack of trying.  I moved to Arkansas, made connections, people like me, etc. but there are no jobs that want me.  I have joined a vast percentage of Americans my age.  There can be some solace in communal hardship, but that is where my pride comes in.  This should not happen to me.  Maybe others, but not me!  Still, God says "Hah, it happened to you!"  Now what?  How many verses must I memorize, or books must I read, or pounds must I lose, etc. before things can finally take a turn for the better.  I cannot be a Provider regardless of how much I want to be.  That is gone from me.  That I cannot control.  This is a standard I hold myself to, which I cannot meet regardless of how willing I am.  So, now I can be the subject of pity, prayers, and sometimes open disdain.  I am in the basement, and therefore not worthy of anyone's time, apparently.  It can be seen as a gross failure.  Somewhere along the line, I did not do something right apparently, as Job's friends would have had him believe.   To be completely honest, there comes a time when "I'm praying for you" sounds like an insult.  How much prayer is needed?  I am in danger of being trapped by my own sense of legalism.  I see no way out.  This road is closed to me despite how ready I feel that I am.

However, all is not lost.  This is only for a season.  If I'm home, I don't really have to worry about having my own place for the time being.  I can focus on spiritual disciplines -- I'm even reading "Disciplines for a Godly Man" currently -- and I can focus on my health -- I have an older mentor that I can look up to for exercise accountability, and I have my stud brother to encourage me.  My sister hooked me up with a fitness app on my iPhone that has already helped me today.  I just have to take it one day at a time.  I know that if I am faithful today then tomorrow can take care of itself.  If I'm out of the game for 3 months, that's okay so long as I improve in those 3 months.  In a way, God answered some of my prayers in this.  I just have to kill my own perceptions of self worth, and focus on how He values me.  I'm only 26, and hopefully by the time I am 27 I will be in better health, spiritually stronger, and out of the house.  Once I fill my fourth standard, and strengthen the other three, then will I be ready for a 5-point woman.  Yes, I can get depressed and bitter, and I have.  Still, I know I need to focus on disciplining myself right now.  I just hope that a) my friends don't abandon me, and b) I don't have to go through it alone.  I have faith that God knows what He is doing.  So, there it is, and here I am.  Love me or leave me.  I am excited to see who I am on the other side of the season.  Dead or alive, Soli Deo Gloria.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley

Parting Thoughts

My time here in Russellville, Arkansas, is nearing an end.  I spent today packing, and will spend tomorrow running an errand to Little Rock, packing, and having a goodbye dinner with my GAC friends.  After 4 months in Arkansas, I will miss the state.  It truly is a beautiful state.

Looking back, I honestly have no idea why God brought me out here.  I mean, I needed an internship to graduate with my Master's Degree, and He provided that.  I worked with great people, met some other great people, and got a lot of championship operations experience.  It was definitely outside of my norm, but I appreciate the experience.  I had other offers closer to home, but I really felt God leading me out to Arkansas, so I faithfully went.

Spiritually, I feel that I regressed, as is evident by my lack of blog updates :(  It has been rough out here on my own spiritually.  Before WFBC, I was content being a spiritual loner because it was all I knew.  After the fellowship of WFBC and Fight Club, moving out here nearly killed me.  I tried my hand at a local church, but that didn't work out.  I'd like to believe I helped those 6th and 8th grade boys out a bit, but I was only there for a few weeks.  I had little to no interaction with anyone else.  I only attended that church one Sunday.  Spiritually, I have nothing to show for my time here, and that hurts :(  However, I did get to spend 2 weekends with my uncle in Harrison, and I really like his church.  If it hadn't been 2.5 hrs away through the mountains, I would have gone more often.

I am sad to say that my physical health suffered as well.  I am normally sedentary, but aside from my co-workers I didn't meet anyone in Russellville that I spent time with.  I was either in the office, or in my apartment.  There are a lot of food options in Russellville, and though I tried cooking for myself I found it easier to just drive through somewhere.  I have gained like 30 lbs in 4 months :(  Last week, I began to act on my convictions, and I am trying to at least cut out soft drinks for the time being.  There are a lot of hiking trails nearby.  They have scenic Mt. Nebo, and lovely Lake Dardanelle, not to mention the Arkansas River.  However, while I was out there I hated being by myself.  It was still beautiful though.

I feel that my whole Arkansas experience was hindered by the short amount of time I was out here, at least in my mind.  Though, I am sorry to leave it.  My mother is from Arkansas, so I consider myself half Arkansan.  If I could sum up my time here in one word it would be some variation of "lonely".

But...I have my Master's Degree in Sport Management from the University of Georgia.  Yay!  Now what?  I return to Georgia with no job offers despite many applications sent out.  Again, I feel that I have nothing to show for my time out here.  I return to Georgia feeling defeated.

*Let me be clear to point out that every person that I worked with either in the conference office or its member institutions was amazing.  The people I met in the various tournament cities were amazing as well.  I hope they remember me fondly as I will remember them.  My own personal sad feelings are not because of them.  They were the highlights of my time in Arkansas, and I will miss them greatly.*

Also, my faith has strengthened this past week, and I have always known that God's plan is the best plan for me.  He has not let me down yet, and so I pack to go home optimistically seeking His will.  If I do not end up with a job in sports, then that is fine as long as I am not stuck in my parents' basement for an extended period of time.  That would kill me.

Through His Word, God reminds me that He has a plan and a purpose for me, and that still gets me excited.  Habakkuk 1:5, Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:10, etc.  This is just a valley, and God will reveal the purpose of my time in Arkansas to me when I am ready to learn it.  I will miss Arkansas, and will return in June to officially move out of my apartment.  I am looking forward to seeing my Athenian brethren soon :)

Thank you, Arkansas, for your beauty.  Thank you, Spring Lake Apartments, for an apartment that leaves me completely spoiled!  Thank you Great American Conference for this opportunity!  I will be the first to admit that I have issues, and I will work on them, but thank you all for putting up with me.  I hope our paths cross again.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley

Standards

When you are just meeting someone you would potentially like to date, you get a lot of the same questions.  "What is your favorite color?", etc.  One I've heard a lot is "What do you look for in a girl?".  I think this is a trap question for guys.  Every person knows what they are attracted to.  I have heard preachers say "Adam didn't have a choice with Eve." but since Adam and Eve had babies, we have a wide assortment to choose from.  I, too, have my list of what I am attracted to.  So, I started thinking about standards, not physical attraction standards but rather hardline standards.  I'm getting to that age where "beggars can't be choosers" starts applying, but I still hold my standards.  I thought I would list my standards for you:
1.  Christian
2.  Single, and wants to date me.
3.  Virgin
4.  Non-divorced
5.  Close proximity

If I were living hundreds of years ago, I would be limited to my village; however in today's society with online dating, Facebook, quick travel, etc. it is possible to meet almost anyone.  I have yet to meet one girl that has met all 5 of my criteria.  I had a discussion with my friend about it, and he said I might have to start making some exceptions.  So let's look at them again:

1.  I can't budge on her being a Christian.  Jesus is my main relationship, and if she can't share in that then I don't want to spend the time explaining it.
2.  It is rather necessary for her to be Single and interested if we are to enter a relationship. 
3.  In today's society it is very hard to know for sure if someone is a virgin.  For most of my early 20's I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, but now I'm completely jaded.  I am a virgin, and I'm waiting for my wife, but I have no idea about anyone else.  Given the circumstances surrounding the situation, I can make an exception here.  It's a tough, sex-driven world and we all make mistakes.  I cannot judge in this area.
4.  I have been blown away by the number of girls I have met who are younger than me and divorced.  Usually, they married someone in the military.  I have to add something to this in that I count "We lived together then broke up" as a divorce too.  Basically, if you lived together I assume you're not a virgin.  Call me "old-fashioned", but I was raised to believe that marriage should never be entered lightly.  It is a lifelong commitment.  "Til Death Do Us Part" is not a suggestion.  It's not "Until You Get Fat", or "Until You Cheat On Me".  I am in no way condoning cheating on your spouse.  "Do Not Commit Adultery" is pretty explicit.  However, marriage is a covenant bond made in the sight of God.  If you're upset that he/she cheated on you, read Hosea.  I usually stop pursuing a girl if I find out she is divorced.  I'm torn on the subject, especially if she was cheated on, but if the marriage can end so quickly it makes me doubt the security of our possible marriage.  I know nobody plans to cheat on their spouse.  Back to the military marriages, my sister is in one and I think they are doing quite well.  I pray for them daily.  However, I hear about her friends' divorces, and it kills me.  I also have personal friends who are products of military divorce.  Being apart from a spouse for extended periods of time hurts, I'm sure.  And, I get it, you want to have sex before they leave.  Who wouldn't?  But wait, sex outside of marriage is wrong, so let's get married so we can have sex!  Oh you're gone for a year, and my great guy friend comforted me; or I was deployed for a year, and there were these girls in the city...you know what I'm saying.  I have really digressed...I could write a whole other post on divorce, but I won't.  Let's just say I'm torn on the matter of whether or not it is a deal-breaker.  It's just a lot of added baggage that I am not ready to deal with :/
5.  This issue has arisen with online dating, etc.  It's very hard if I cannot see you regularly.  Words on a screen, or text messages, etc. only go so far to develop intimacy.  I have to be able to stand being in the room with you, and vice versa.  I want you to be comfortable with me.  I added this standard because I know some girls who meet the hardline standards, yet are a thousand miles away.  It's too emotionally taxing.  Plus, there is a trap of getting too emotionally involved to where you get more content with the idea of the person than the person themselves.  It's just a dangerous situation that I have introduced myself to, and got out of.  I try not to knock it if I don't try it.  It's just too emotionally taxing for me.  I can't really make an exception here.

So, all of these standards point to faith.  Do I have faith that God created a girl out there who meets all 5 of my standards?  She could have red hair, black hair, no hair, etc. in 50 years we'll both look like crap.  Will we both love and pursue Jesus?  Will we be committed to each other?  Will we have sexually known only each other?  Will we be each others' only spouse?  Will she be in my same zip code?  That comes back to whether or not I meet my own #1.  Am I pursuing Jesus?  Am I seeking to grow daily in my relationship with Him?  I admit, I've had a dry spell.  I got caught up in feeling sorry for myself that my communication with Him was only one-sided.  I have repented, and I'm dusting my sword off.

Let me also say that if you're a girl reading this, and you are divorced, or not a virgin, etc. please do not think I am putting myself higher than you, or condemning you, etc.  I am not at all.  You are loved, you are forgiven, and I am just a fellow sinner saved by grace.  I am in need of daily forgiveness.  I am aware that the odds are against my meeting a 5-point girl, but as long as we're both pursuing Christ then all else is under the blood, as they say.  This subject was just on my mind.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart