26

Well, my "give-a-damn" is busted.  I had a rough week, plus I contracted a cold.  I had a lot of prayer time, and God stayed with me through it all.  I turned 26 this past Tuesday, and I had an identity crisis.  I hope it's not a mid-life crisis because I'd like to live past 52.  I began exercising during my lunch hour, and I changed up my diet.  It's been going well.  I feel a lot better about myself, and I lost 3lbs this week.  I'm eating less, not drinking soda, and drinking more water.  Things are going well.  I pray I can stick with it.  It was a fairly eventful week.  I had a good birthday up until right before Fight Club, and that kind of soured me the rest of the week.  I just didn't know where I fit anymore.  I had my 8th grade guys that I lead, but I got moved to 6th grade guys instead, so I had to deal with that.  Now I'm pretty excited to see what God has in store.  I do not like change, and it takes me a while to get used to it, but eventually I jump on board completely.  I can be a jerk, and I don't like it :(  If I've been a jerk to you, I sincerely apologize.  Feel free to talk to me about it.  What I've learned through it all is that I'm really not worth anything.  Seriously, I'm just a pile of dust that God saw fit to breathe life into, and for some reason He loves me.  I say I want to serve God and serve others, but when I feel Him call me I am the first to offer a list of excuses.  I'm glad He will use me despite me.  My spirit really wants to serve Him, but my flesh is holding on for dear life.  My flesh doesn't want to die.  I'm called to die to myself daily, pick up my cross and follow Christ.  I am completely removed from the equation.  Any status or reputation I gain is laid at the foot of His throne.  One of my favorite movie quotes comes from Prince Caspian where Aslan tells Lucy that things never happen the same way twice.  This year is different, not worse.  I can get excited about the new things to come, the new horizons.  I'm in a fantastic youth group, and I get to lead fantastic kids.  I am in a pretty neat small group with a lot of newbies to get to know.  I have people who care about me.  Things will go well.  I have to just re-root my identity in Christ and claim the joy of my salvation.  I had a week off, but I'm back :)  I pray He blesses this coming week.  He must increase, and I must decrease.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart

Shadows

Given the recent discussions on this blog, and recent struggles I've been going through in my life, this song has been running through my mind for 3 days.  It's "Shadows" by The David Crowder Band, plus a bridge section from Christian rapper Lecrae.  It pretty much sums it all up for me.  I wish I could have seen this performed live :(

(CROWDER)
Life is full of light and shadows
Oh, the joy, and oh, the sorrow
Oh, the sorrow

And yet will He bring dark to light
And yet will He bring day from night

When the shadows fall on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When darkness falls on us
We will not fear
We will remember

When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We'll remember the cost
We're resting in the shadow of the cross


(LECRAE)
With every breath I take, every heartbeat
Sunrise, and the moonlight in the dark street
Every glance, every dance, every note of a song
All a gift undeserved that I shouldn't have known

Every moment I lie, every moment I covet
I'm deserving to die; I'm earning Your judgment
Without the cross there's only condemnation
If Jesus wasn't executed there's no celebration

So, in times that are good, in times that are bad
For any time I've had at all, I will be glad
And I will boast in the cross, I'll boast in His name
I will boast in the sunshine, boast in His reign

What's my life if it's not praising You?
Another dollar in my bank account of vain pursuit
I do not count my life as any value, precious at all
Let me finish my race, let me answer Your call

There are 31 verses that go with this song.  I copied the references off of a YouTube video.  You know how I try to back everything up with Scripture?  Here we go:

• "Seek the LORD and His strength; seek His presence continually!"  (Psalm 105:4 ESV)
• "The righteous will never be removed, but the wicked will not dwell in the land."  (Proverbs 10:30 ESV)
• "The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone."  (Isaiah 9:2 ESV)
• "He was despised and rejected by men; a Man of Sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we esteemed Him not.  Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted."  (Isaiah 53:3-4 ESV; Isaiah 53 is about Jesus...several centuries before He even lived.)
• "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."  (Psalm 23:4 ESV; This verse is one of the reasons my blog is titled "Sticks and Stones".)
• "Light dawns in the darkness for the upright; He is gracious, merciful, and righteous."  (Psalm 112:4 ESV)
• "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother."  (Proverbs 18:24 ESV)
• "Ah, you who hide deep from the LORD your counsel, whose deeds are in the dark, and who say, “Who sees us? Who knows us?”"  (Isaiah 29:15 ESV)
• "...and rend your hearts and not your garments.”  Return to the LORD your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and He relents over disaster."  (Joel 2:13 ESV)
• "If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet."  (Proverbs 3:24 ESV)
• [Those were just from the Old Testament, kids!  The Old Testament points to Jesus and tells us why we need Him.]
• "Then He [Jesus] said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” And Peter answered, “The Christ of God.”"  (Luke 9:20 ESV)
• "The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light."  (Romans 13:12 ESV)
• "I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day."  (2 Timothy 1:3 ESV)
• "And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”"  (Luke 23:34 ESV)
• "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."  (John 1:5 ESV)
• "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death."  (Romans 8:1-2 ESV; I still have Romans 8 memorized.)
• "But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world."  (Galatians 6:14 ESV)
• "I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 3:14 ESV)
• "For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”"  (John 3:20-21 ESV)
• "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."  (1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV)
• "the people dwelling in darkness have seen a great light, and for those dwelling in the region and shadow of death, on them a light has dawned.”  (Matthew 4:16 ESV; also, Isaiah 9:2 above.  I love how it all fits!)
• "He [John the Baptist] was not the light, but came to bear witness about the Light [Jesus]."  (John 1:8 ESV)
• "I in them and You [God the Father] in Me [Jesus, God the Son], that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that You sent Me and loved them even as You loved Me."  (John 17:23 ESV)
• "He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."  (Colossians 1:13-14 ESV)
• "And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."  (1 John 2:17 ESV)
• "In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins."  (1 John 4:10 ESV)
• "And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life."  (1 John 5:11-12 ESV; also, John 3:36)

[I put my comments in italics.]  I believe this, people.  I pray that you come to believe it as well.  He is real.  He loves us.  Do we love Him in return?  He promises us so much.  The tomb is empty; the throne is occupied!

For the Kingdom,
Stuart

How Could A Loving God Allow Bad Things To Happen?

This post deals with something I've wanted to write about since I started the blog.  Also, I'm no theologian, so it won't be as in-depth as it could be.  This is also in response to Bender's response to my belief that God blessed me with a parking permit.  The whole thing can be read at:  http://marmonax.blogspot.com/2011/08/on-little-things.html?showComment=1313533799996#c1637638238965752750

I can see how Bender is upset because there are far bigger problems in the world than my getting a parking permit.  My whole point in saying what I said was to highlight how I get so caught up in expecting God to work huge miracles (like fire from Heaven or parting the Red Sea) that I miss out on the little blessings.  I had to remind myself that God created everything perfect.  He created Earth and Eden.  He created Man, saw that Man was lonely, so He created Woman.  Everything God created was good.  God wants to fellowship with me. 

The story begins in Genesis with Him hanging out with Man, and ends in Revelation where He will establish His throne with us:

 "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away'.  And He who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.' Also He said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'"  (Revelation 21:3-5 ESV)

 The story is that Man disobeyed God.  He essentially declared war on God.  I have declared war on God.  We have all declared war on God.  Romans 3:23 says "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."  But then Romans 3:24 continues, "and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus".  So, there is bad news, but there is also good news.  We will be healed.  If we are in Christ, then we can have the relationship with God that we lost so long ago.  We may not be healed on this earth though.  This earth is heading for destruction.  There is still sin in this world.  God will make all things new.  I don't know what my CP cousin is thinking, because he cannot communicate, but I've told him about this healing.  If we stop fighting God, we can fellowship with Him.  If someone declares war on me (and continually spits in my face), it would be hard for me to forgive them, let alone live with them.  I am not God though.  I don't know why He loves me, but He does.  And He loves you too.

Also, if God is a good God then why is there evil in the world?  Well, if we want God to end evil in the world, which evil are we talking about?  Sure, we'd like to end murder, rape, etc.  We'd like God to not allow bad things like birth defects, or health complications.  I mean, why does bad stuff happen right?  In reality, we can't pick and choose what evil we want God to handle because He is a holy God and cannot tolerate any evil at all.  The only way we can approach Him is because of Jesus' sacrifice.  He paid the debt He did not owe; the debt we could not pay.  Lying, cheating, evil thoughts, all of those should be punished.  "What you thought last night deserves a first class flight to Hell where God doesn't dwell" - Lecrae.  If we say God should end all of the bad stuff in the world, then we're all doomed.  There is a Hope, though.  There is a Redeemer.  We will be healed.

And yes, Bender, I do need to lose weight.  I only have one life, and I don't want it to end because of me.  It's something I struggle with daily, and I won't go into detail here.  I am sorry about your brother.  My CP cousin Philip is awesome, and I wish he could communicate with me.  I have questions in my life too, like why did my 5-yr old cousin have to die in a car accident?  And other questions...I am in no way saying that if you accept Christ you will have everything you need and nothing bad will happen to you.  Jesus says in John 16:33, "I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”  The story doesn't end with our problems today.  The tomb is empty, the throne is occupied.  I will continue to stand on Scripture because it's what I base my belief on.  I will try to back everything up with it as well.  I hope we can continue to communicate, Bender.  I've already lost one dear friend, and I would hate to lose you; however, if I claim to believe something like this I can't just shelve it when it's inconvenient.  God doesn't say "deal with it", He says "let Me help you learn it".  I could keep writing pages and pages, but this is the gist of it.  I'm praying for you and your brother.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart

Gettin' Hitched

I hate weddings.

That being said, I've had fun at the last 3 I've been to :)  God used the wedding of my friends David and Ellie to help me grow closer to Him in May 2009.  He laid my wife on my heart after that.  Then my sister got married a year, to the day, after in May 2010 to my friend Andrew.  Their blog should be linked from mine.  He's a good brother-in-law, and I'm glad she married him.  I had fun at the reception too.  I 'danced' a bit.  I can't dance, and I'm horribly self-conscious, but sometimes I just don't care.  Jason DeRulo will be played at my wedding reception.  I'm going to have to convince my wife to let our first dance be to "In My Head" LoL.  Either that, or I'll have to get in shape and learn the dance :P  I may do the latter one and just sing it to her.  Chris Brown's "Forever" is on my list too.  Jason DeRulo is the soundtrack to my last 3 years.  Tonight's wedding was for my friends Jon and Katie Alligood.  I wish them well.  The wedding was nice.  I'd never been to the Botanical Gardens, and I've lived in Athens for 7 years.  It rained, so we packed the reception room.  Still, it doesn't matter.  Jon and Katie are married.  It's been a long time coming :)  I'm happy for them.

I say that weddings suck because it reminds me how single I am.  As I think about it though, I think for once in my life I'm finally glad I'm single.  It's nice not having someone fully dependent on me.  If I'm honest with myself, I couldn't support someone right now anyway.  Once I get my Masters and have a job with a steady income for a year or so, and save up some money, then maybe.  I'll only be like 28 by then, so it's not too bad.  A lot of my friends have married young, some are already divorced :(, and they have their own lists of struggles.  Still, they have each other.  It's not good for Man to be alone, that's why God created Woman.  Also still, some of the greatest Christians were single.  So, really, I shouldn't worry about it either way, and just focus on my mission in life right now.  I must do my job, make one last A at UGA, find an internship that could lead to a job, and move from there.  If God chooses to bless me along the way, so be it.  I know I'm not perfect, but I know I'll love her completely.  As for tonight, God bless Jon and Katie Alligood :)

For the Kingdom,
Stuart

Community

No, the title doesn't refer to the TV show (though it's one of my favorites).  We talked about what it means to have a Church community on Sunday.  In Acts 2, the believers sold all of their possessions, used the proceeds to help the needy, and just did life together.  We'd call them Communists, but with Christ at the head it was in its purer form.  Somewhere along the lines, it got skewed.  It became about wealth, control, huge cathedrals, etc.  We still have huge cathedrals today.  I grew up in a large church.  Watkinsville First Baptist is probably a "medium" compared to Athens Church or Prince Avenue Baptist, but I love it.  David Platt mentions in his book Radical that today it would be interesting if churches determined success not by how many people they bring in, but by how many people they send out.  I got to thinking about that.  I love WFBC.  I look up to the leaders, walk alongside my Fight Club brothers, pour into the Underground boys, etc.  I'm a part of a community.  Sure, I still feel like I'm on the fringes, but I have begun to feel more accepted in the ranks.  All of this is happening at a time where I think a move to another state is in my future :(  So, if I move I will have to find a whole new community.  I know God will provide, but it will be hard if I have to move.  I don't take this as an excuse to slack off and back away.  Just the opposite.  I see this as an opportunity to "leave it all on the field" so to speak.  So, for those of you WFBC people reading this, you've got all of me.  If you need my truck to help you move, I'll do it (I've done it).  If I can be there for you, I will be.  If God does take me out of Athens in December, I want Him to have to drag me away because I've got nothing left in me.  I saw this blog has reached 600 views.  I know most of those are mine, since it counts every time I post something, or look at posts...and maybe the other views are all from my family and Bender...but I'm still here for you.  Thank you for being my community.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart

Silent Neutrality

Yes, I know it's been a long time since I last posted.  I will attempt to explain my lapse.  A few weeks ago I fell into a state of what I called "silent neutrality".  By that I mean the Holy Spirit was silent, and I was at a neutral point in life.  I read His Word, and I prayed constantly, but I didn't hear anything.  It's been my prayer since I got my journal, and started this blog, that He would lead me by His Spirit to write down circumstances in my life where I could point a finger directly to Him.  Aside from having a part-time job and finishing up my class, I really didn't have anything noteworthy to write about.  I still thanked Him for what I have, and for His protection.  I began to wonder what I was doing wrong, if anything, aside from the normal sins that I'm fighting.  I assumed a legalistic mindset, as I'm prone to do.  I started thinking that I should kill all sin in my life in order to hear the Spirit again.  I had confessed everything and cleared the airwaves, but still didn't hear anything.  Through it all I heard God whisper to me one day "Pursue Me".  So, my prayer became "Show me how to pursue You."  It's like that in any relationship.  For us guys, we're expected to pursue.  We spoke a few weeks ago at our college meeting that guys have no clue how to passionately pursue a woman.  That is the truth, and we also have no idea how to passionately pursue God.  Now, He doesn't stop pursuing us, so sometimes all we have to do is stop running from Him and let Him catch up.  Other times, He hides Himself so that we can grow in our seeking Him.  Last week God gave me some minor blessings that weren't earth-shattering, but in the midst of my searching He highlighted them.  That revelation made me go "oh!" and praise Him.  One of them was just getting a parking permit for the most exclusive lot on campus :)  I thought I was on a waiting list for my 3rd choice of parking lot, so I just gave it to God and a few minutes later I got an e-mail saying I had a permit for my 1st choice.  That's all to His glory right there.  See, minor; hardly noteworthy to some, but it helped me to refocus.  Last week at our college group we talked about finding our mission.  I've been curious as to what my mission for the Kingdom is.  I know I have the gift of Service and the gift of Encouragement, so I've been praying that I would have more opportunities to serve and encourage.  I had the opportunity to leave work early Friday, and I had plans, but I felt that I had a 'mission' and a 'duty' to do my job.  I canceled my plans and finished a full day.  My life may not be epic, but it is part of the greatest epic.  I need to stop trying to fit God and His Word into my life and start fitting my life into His Word.  My life is barely a blip in the grand scheme of eternity, so why should I try to focus on myself?  Whatever my mission is, I do it for His glory and not for my own.  Sometimes we have to be "glordinary", or glory in the ordinary.  I have to be a good steward with what He gives me to show myself responsible enough for more.  I am not perfect.  I am a wretch.  Still, He chooses to use me, and to the best of my ability I will pursue Him.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart