Well...it was a great year. I went back and re-read my last blog post from last December. God is still faithful, even after a failed relationship. Sometimes things just don't work out, I'm afraid. Long story, but I'm moving on. No hard feelings.
My situation hasn't much changed. I am still a parapro at LGHS, our Football team went to the playoffs, so this season was the best season in school history. I'm glad we are building a solid program. I am very proud to be a part of it. I still live at home. I had to deal with the thought process of "I must not be enough". I've always had a fear of not being "enough". It finally came true. But, it came true in the best possible way. I am secure in who and where I am. I spent months focusing on all the things I didn't have, which led to so many frustrations, and I forgot to just be thankful to a faithful God. I am rejuvenated.
So many people say "I'm not perfect" or "I'm not a saint". Lord knows I say "I'm not perfect" all the time. I found that it might actually be a cop out, or an excuse to not try. Christians are imperfect humans, but we're clothed in the perfection and righteousness of Jesus Christ. We must strive to live in such a way that reflects that. That's why Satan tries so hard to discredit us. If we do things on our own power, we have no credit. It has to be on God's power. My pastor has told us in Sunday School that if you draw a line:
O----------------X------------------------>
Where the O is the beginning of our lives, and the X is where we meet Jesus, we assume that the blue line still exists. The blue line is our sin before meeting Jesus. We remember all the dirty, and we expect that God does too. We keep waiting for some hammer to fall as punishment for things we had done. In reality, God sees this:
O----------------X------------------------->
There is no blue. God sees us as His righteous children because He sees His Son when He looks at us. He does not count our sin against us. I said in my last post that He credits obedience and faith to us as righteousness.
So, by saying "I'm not a saint" we are really lying to ourselves and to God. We're telling Him that He is wrong in perceiving us as righteous. We tell Him thanks for giving us the Get Out Of Hell Free card of His Son's blood, but are denying any responsibility to live that way. The Christian rapper Lecrae has a song called "I'm A Saint" that addresses this very issue. It's not up to humans to pick saints based on deeds and works that please Man. God clearly chooses who He sanctifies. Romans 8 tells us that. In 1 Corinthians Paul calls the believers saints even though Corinth was a very wicked city. Habakkuk 2:4 says "The righteous shall live by faith". I'm tying this into my last post, if you haven't noticed :)
It's not my power that makes me any kind of good. I am a sinner saved by grace. I'm going to fail, I'm going to fall, but God can still use me. If in my weakness He is strong, then right now He should be in God Mode. I know the man I am. I will be with people who like the man I am. God will still mold and grow me, but for now I'm happy just being His. He justified me, and sanctification is a slow process. I still have all of the ability to love others that I had before, even more so now maybe. I'm still the charming man I've always been. I'm at a point where I'm very excited for the new year, and the new things in my life. I wear a new smile.
Soli Deo Gloria
For the Kingdom,
- Stuart L. Kingsley
