Saturday, June 30, 2012
Battle for the Campfire 2
I have a report from the campfire Thursday night at Camp Icthus. One of my boys trusted Christ! Also, Mr. Sam and I knew we were walking into a spiritual battle for the campfire just as we had experienced last year. Last year we felt demons actually charge the kids around the fire, and we prayed defense. Thursday night the demons did not charge, and we felt the presence of God defending us. I actually felt the darkness leave. Apparently one demon stayed back to scout because Sam and I prayed against it. We heard a honking shrieking sound come at us from the woods, and it startled us! It sounded like nothing either of us had ever heard. Then the shrieks grew fainter as it flew away. We heard flapping wings and branches breaking! Ms. Cindy also heard it, and she was praying protection too. She told us Friday morning that when she and her girls got back to the cabin, one of her girls (Madison) asked her who the man in white was. Sam and I were both wearing white, but she said the man was huge, had a sword and shield, and was standing on top of the boys cabin! I asked Madison Friday morning what she saw, and she said she had seen three such men. One to the left of the cabin, one on top of the cabin, and one on the road to the right of the cabin...right where I had felt the enemy leave! I really can't make this stuff up. It is both exhilarating and terrifying. Sam and I were both waiting for something to charge straight at us out of the woods, but nothing did. It just honked at us. God was with us last night. I wish I could feel that every night. Oh, also, I did not have my stick or shield. I relied on God to do the fighting.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart
Friday, June 15, 2012
A View From The Bottom
Wow, again it has been about a month since I last posted. I also see that I have at least one reader in Alaska, which is fun.
After about a month in the basement, I must say I am a lot more hopeful than I was the last time I wrote. I had about 2 weeks where I battled self-loathing, etc. A few months ago, I decided that I needed to work outdoors in some capacity this summer. I had 2 options. The first option was a job in Athens where I knew the owner's family. The second was to work at Willow Falls where Camp Icthus is. The Falls usually hires 2 hands for the summer. I procrastinated a lot in the pursuit of both options, and felt that both passed me by. Along with working at Willow Falls, I wanted to work all 3 sessions of Camp Icthus. Since I was uncertain about where I would be those weeks, I couldn't commit to anything. Again, I felt like a chance had passed me by. So, I sat in the basement and made myself sad. The good thing about despair is that God uses it to bring people to Him. When you have nothing to hold on to you reach for the nearest thing, and God is always there. Sometimes He has to sink the boat to make you realize you can walk on water. I began to pursue His Word again, and He told me to start taking steps towards my goals. So, I went to WFBC and asked if I could help with their summer camp. That was a no. I had only asked about the week before, so that was obvious. Still, I had to take a shot. I went to CBC and asked if I could help with their summer camp. That was a yes, but it would cost $275. I had the money, so I said I would go. That next week, I journeyed up to Willow Falls to visit my dear friends for 3 days and 2 nights. While I was there, I was asked if I still wanted to work. I said yes. So, I would work the week before and the week after Icthus 1, and hopefully be a counselor all 3 sessions of Icthus, for a grand total of 5 weeks as close to Heaven as I will get on this earth. I was happy! In order to do Willow Falls, however, I had to give up Daytona. So, I gave up Daytona. I found out about a week or so later that I would only be a counselor for Icthus 1, which narrowed my time to 3 weeks, but the Falls made it sound like I could work during the other 2 sessions of Icthus so that I could stick around. Either way, with 3 weeks or 5, I will achieve my goal of working at the Falls, and being a counselor for Icthus. I am so happy to be getting out of the basement for a few weeks! I still have no clue where I will end up in August, and I still do not have a job lined up, but I can rejoice in knowing that God still wants to use me and provide opportunities for me to rejoice in Him.
I got called in for a job interview this past Tuesday morning for a job that is not in sports. I will find out about that position next week, so I won't mention any more about it. I will be out of commission from Sunday, June 17, to Saturday, July 21, since I will be up on the mountain without constant internet. I will have my phone, so if you want to get in touch with me text or call. I will post an update when I return :)
I don't know how many total people read my blog, and I know it is not about numbers. I could point to several other more-spiritual blogs, etc. Still, thank you for reading. Feel free to comment on anything. I love feedback. I have not been a very good representation of Christ lately, and it shows in my lack of posts, but if I just posted about the "holy" moments then I would not seem real to you. I have so much on my mind about how the world is going on right now, and once I get my thoughts together I will post more. In the meantime, read Habakkuk and see how God must punish evil. If His people are evil, He must discipline them. God does not let you live your life in any way you want! I can write more on that later, or have a one-on-one discussion, etc. Again, thank you for reading.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley
After about a month in the basement, I must say I am a lot more hopeful than I was the last time I wrote. I had about 2 weeks where I battled self-loathing, etc. A few months ago, I decided that I needed to work outdoors in some capacity this summer. I had 2 options. The first option was a job in Athens where I knew the owner's family. The second was to work at Willow Falls where Camp Icthus is. The Falls usually hires 2 hands for the summer. I procrastinated a lot in the pursuit of both options, and felt that both passed me by. Along with working at Willow Falls, I wanted to work all 3 sessions of Camp Icthus. Since I was uncertain about where I would be those weeks, I couldn't commit to anything. Again, I felt like a chance had passed me by. So, I sat in the basement and made myself sad. The good thing about despair is that God uses it to bring people to Him. When you have nothing to hold on to you reach for the nearest thing, and God is always there. Sometimes He has to sink the boat to make you realize you can walk on water. I began to pursue His Word again, and He told me to start taking steps towards my goals. So, I went to WFBC and asked if I could help with their summer camp. That was a no. I had only asked about the week before, so that was obvious. Still, I had to take a shot. I went to CBC and asked if I could help with their summer camp. That was a yes, but it would cost $275. I had the money, so I said I would go. That next week, I journeyed up to Willow Falls to visit my dear friends for 3 days and 2 nights. While I was there, I was asked if I still wanted to work. I said yes. So, I would work the week before and the week after Icthus 1, and hopefully be a counselor all 3 sessions of Icthus, for a grand total of 5 weeks as close to Heaven as I will get on this earth. I was happy! In order to do Willow Falls, however, I had to give up Daytona. So, I gave up Daytona. I found out about a week or so later that I would only be a counselor for Icthus 1, which narrowed my time to 3 weeks, but the Falls made it sound like I could work during the other 2 sessions of Icthus so that I could stick around. Either way, with 3 weeks or 5, I will achieve my goal of working at the Falls, and being a counselor for Icthus. I am so happy to be getting out of the basement for a few weeks! I still have no clue where I will end up in August, and I still do not have a job lined up, but I can rejoice in knowing that God still wants to use me and provide opportunities for me to rejoice in Him.
I got called in for a job interview this past Tuesday morning for a job that is not in sports. I will find out about that position next week, so I won't mention any more about it. I will be out of commission from Sunday, June 17, to Saturday, July 21, since I will be up on the mountain without constant internet. I will have my phone, so if you want to get in touch with me text or call. I will post an update when I return :)
I don't know how many total people read my blog, and I know it is not about numbers. I could point to several other more-spiritual blogs, etc. Still, thank you for reading. Feel free to comment on anything. I love feedback. I have not been a very good representation of Christ lately, and it shows in my lack of posts, but if I just posted about the "holy" moments then I would not seem real to you. I have so much on my mind about how the world is going on right now, and once I get my thoughts together I will post more. In the meantime, read Habakkuk and see how God must punish evil. If His people are evil, He must discipline them. God does not let you live your life in any way you want! I can write more on that later, or have a one-on-one discussion, etc. Again, thank you for reading.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Standards Part Deux
A while ago I posted what I consider to be standards for my potential mate. I was met with mixed responses. I want to clarify something by posting four standards that I heard in church that I hold myself to.
1. Priest
2. Prophet
3. Protector
4. Provider
As I understand it, to be a Priest I must intercede on behalf of my family. I must honor my wife, and present her as a pure queen to God at the end of our life. I will exist to make her better. All selfish desires should be executed. As if that were not enough, when I have children I must present them as holy princes and princesses at the end as well. So whatever free time I had from serving my wife is now given to my children. Now, like any 26-yr old male, I enjoy my freedom. I enjoy being able to have my own place, and do with it what I will. However, also as a 26-yr old male, I am completely over it. I hate being alone. I'm ready for companionship. I feel that I am ready to undertake this responsibility knowing full well that I have no idea what I am getting into! I listen to the advice given by my male mentors, and I take notes. I understand that I will never be ready, but I'm ready to walk the road.
To be a Prophet, I must also act as God's mouthpiece to my family. I should set the example for them to follow. I should discipline, chastise, etc. in a graceful fashion. I should not exasperate my children. I must listen to God's Law, and enforce it in my house. I will train my children in the way they should go so that when they are older they will not stray from it. Again, I am flawed, so I foresee that I will have to do a lot of repenting and apologizing. Fortunately, blessedly, I have had my pride systematically beaten out of me for a while now. I have gone from humility to humiliation. My family will have to have a lot of grace for me, but they can know that I will give them everything I have. I feel that I am also ready to pursue this course of action. I understand that I will never be ready, but I'm ready to walk the road.
At first glance, Protector is pretty simple. I have a gun, I have several sticks, I have fists, etc. Trust me, I'm ready to destroy any boy who looks at my daughter. However, over the course of the past year or so I have learned that protection goes beyond the physical. At our College retreat in Pigeon Forge, TN, last year I saw a friend of mine protect his girlfriend from an offensive stage performance by leading her out in the middle of it. At the same retreat, I saw my friend clear a table and place it under his pregnant wife's feet so she could be comfortable. These are just a few of the examples that show me that protection goes into the mental, emotional, and spiritual realms as well. I know full well where certain sins entered my life, and how my parents failed to protect me from them. Even though they could not protect me forever, there were still clear moments where the shield was gone. Since it's my job to present my family members as holy royalty at the end, that begins with the day to day. I can see where I fail to guard my mind in certain areas, and I have no clue how to start in their lives. Still, as situations become apparent, and the Spirit reveals, I feel that I will be able to adapt. I know full well that measures need to be taken now, and so I am. Again, I will not be prepared for everything, but my own mistakes will act as a guidebook for the protection of my family. I understand that I will never be ready, but I'm ready to walk the road.
Now we come to the swift, strong kick in the balls. I am unable to be a Provider right now. For years I have sat in Fight Club, and heard about the dangerous 30-yr old who sits in his parents' basement and plays World of Warcraft. I have heard open disdain for such a person. A man must have a job, a man must have his own place, etc. For the past few years, I have had that. "I have a Bible, I have a job, and I don't live with my parents." was a classic pick-up line from Pastor Mark Driscoll, that I jokingly could use. Now, however, I cannot. After 8 years of education, I have a Master's Degree. Hooray! I have achieved what many people have not. However, my industry is very selective and I have no job. I am seeking other employment opportunities currently, but nothing has broken yet. I have moved back home for the time being which kills my eligibility, thereby negating my need for marital standards in the first place. Every part of my pride is gone. Just, gone. It's not for lack of trying. I moved to Arkansas, made connections, people like me, etc. but there are no jobs that want me. I have joined a vast percentage of Americans my age. There can be some solace in communal hardship, but that is where my pride comes in. This should not happen to me. Maybe others, but not me! Still, God says "Hah, it happened to you!" Now what? How many verses must I memorize, or books must I read, or pounds must I lose, etc. before things can finally take a turn for the better. I cannot be a Provider regardless of how much I want to be. That is gone from me. That I cannot control. This is a standard I hold myself to, which I cannot meet regardless of how willing I am. So, now I can be the subject of pity, prayers, and sometimes open disdain. I am in the basement, and therefore not worthy of anyone's time, apparently. It can be seen as a gross failure. Somewhere along the line, I did not do something right apparently, as Job's friends would have had him believe. To be completely honest, there comes a time when "I'm praying for you" sounds like an insult. How much prayer is needed? I am in danger of being trapped by my own sense of legalism. I see no way out. This road is closed to me despite how ready I feel that I am.
However, all is not lost. This is only for a season. If I'm home, I don't really have to worry about having my own place for the time being. I can focus on spiritual disciplines -- I'm even reading "Disciplines for a Godly Man" currently -- and I can focus on my health -- I have an older mentor that I can look up to for exercise accountability, and I have my stud brother to encourage me. My sister hooked me up with a fitness app on my iPhone that has already helped me today. I just have to take it one day at a time. I know that if I am faithful today then tomorrow can take care of itself. If I'm out of the game for 3 months, that's okay so long as I improve in those 3 months. In a way, God answered some of my prayers in this. I just have to kill my own perceptions of self worth, and focus on how He values me. I'm only 26, and hopefully by the time I am 27 I will be in better health, spiritually stronger, and out of the house. Once I fill my fourth standard, and strengthen the other three, then will I be ready for a 5-point woman. Yes, I can get depressed and bitter, and I have. Still, I know I need to focus on disciplining myself right now. I just hope that a) my friends don't abandon me, and b) I don't have to go through it alone. I have faith that God knows what He is doing. So, there it is, and here I am. Love me or leave me. I am excited to see who I am on the other side of the season. Dead or alive, Soli Deo Gloria.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley
1. Priest
2. Prophet
3. Protector
4. Provider
As I understand it, to be a Priest I must intercede on behalf of my family. I must honor my wife, and present her as a pure queen to God at the end of our life. I will exist to make her better. All selfish desires should be executed. As if that were not enough, when I have children I must present them as holy princes and princesses at the end as well. So whatever free time I had from serving my wife is now given to my children. Now, like any 26-yr old male, I enjoy my freedom. I enjoy being able to have my own place, and do with it what I will. However, also as a 26-yr old male, I am completely over it. I hate being alone. I'm ready for companionship. I feel that I am ready to undertake this responsibility knowing full well that I have no idea what I am getting into! I listen to the advice given by my male mentors, and I take notes. I understand that I will never be ready, but I'm ready to walk the road.
To be a Prophet, I must also act as God's mouthpiece to my family. I should set the example for them to follow. I should discipline, chastise, etc. in a graceful fashion. I should not exasperate my children. I must listen to God's Law, and enforce it in my house. I will train my children in the way they should go so that when they are older they will not stray from it. Again, I am flawed, so I foresee that I will have to do a lot of repenting and apologizing. Fortunately, blessedly, I have had my pride systematically beaten out of me for a while now. I have gone from humility to humiliation. My family will have to have a lot of grace for me, but they can know that I will give them everything I have. I feel that I am also ready to pursue this course of action. I understand that I will never be ready, but I'm ready to walk the road.
At first glance, Protector is pretty simple. I have a gun, I have several sticks, I have fists, etc. Trust me, I'm ready to destroy any boy who looks at my daughter. However, over the course of the past year or so I have learned that protection goes beyond the physical. At our College retreat in Pigeon Forge, TN, last year I saw a friend of mine protect his girlfriend from an offensive stage performance by leading her out in the middle of it. At the same retreat, I saw my friend clear a table and place it under his pregnant wife's feet so she could be comfortable. These are just a few of the examples that show me that protection goes into the mental, emotional, and spiritual realms as well. I know full well where certain sins entered my life, and how my parents failed to protect me from them. Even though they could not protect me forever, there were still clear moments where the shield was gone. Since it's my job to present my family members as holy royalty at the end, that begins with the day to day. I can see where I fail to guard my mind in certain areas, and I have no clue how to start in their lives. Still, as situations become apparent, and the Spirit reveals, I feel that I will be able to adapt. I know full well that measures need to be taken now, and so I am. Again, I will not be prepared for everything, but my own mistakes will act as a guidebook for the protection of my family. I understand that I will never be ready, but I'm ready to walk the road.
Now we come to the swift, strong kick in the balls. I am unable to be a Provider right now. For years I have sat in Fight Club, and heard about the dangerous 30-yr old who sits in his parents' basement and plays World of Warcraft. I have heard open disdain for such a person. A man must have a job, a man must have his own place, etc. For the past few years, I have had that. "I have a Bible, I have a job, and I don't live with my parents." was a classic pick-up line from Pastor Mark Driscoll, that I jokingly could use. Now, however, I cannot. After 8 years of education, I have a Master's Degree. Hooray! I have achieved what many people have not. However, my industry is very selective and I have no job. I am seeking other employment opportunities currently, but nothing has broken yet. I have moved back home for the time being which kills my eligibility, thereby negating my need for marital standards in the first place. Every part of my pride is gone. Just, gone. It's not for lack of trying. I moved to Arkansas, made connections, people like me, etc. but there are no jobs that want me. I have joined a vast percentage of Americans my age. There can be some solace in communal hardship, but that is where my pride comes in. This should not happen to me. Maybe others, but not me! Still, God says "Hah, it happened to you!" Now what? How many verses must I memorize, or books must I read, or pounds must I lose, etc. before things can finally take a turn for the better. I cannot be a Provider regardless of how much I want to be. That is gone from me. That I cannot control. This is a standard I hold myself to, which I cannot meet regardless of how willing I am. So, now I can be the subject of pity, prayers, and sometimes open disdain. I am in the basement, and therefore not worthy of anyone's time, apparently. It can be seen as a gross failure. Somewhere along the line, I did not do something right apparently, as Job's friends would have had him believe. To be completely honest, there comes a time when "I'm praying for you" sounds like an insult. How much prayer is needed? I am in danger of being trapped by my own sense of legalism. I see no way out. This road is closed to me despite how ready I feel that I am.
However, all is not lost. This is only for a season. If I'm home, I don't really have to worry about having my own place for the time being. I can focus on spiritual disciplines -- I'm even reading "Disciplines for a Godly Man" currently -- and I can focus on my health -- I have an older mentor that I can look up to for exercise accountability, and I have my stud brother to encourage me. My sister hooked me up with a fitness app on my iPhone that has already helped me today. I just have to take it one day at a time. I know that if I am faithful today then tomorrow can take care of itself. If I'm out of the game for 3 months, that's okay so long as I improve in those 3 months. In a way, God answered some of my prayers in this. I just have to kill my own perceptions of self worth, and focus on how He values me. I'm only 26, and hopefully by the time I am 27 I will be in better health, spiritually stronger, and out of the house. Once I fill my fourth standard, and strengthen the other three, then will I be ready for a 5-point woman. Yes, I can get depressed and bitter, and I have. Still, I know I need to focus on disciplining myself right now. I just hope that a) my friends don't abandon me, and b) I don't have to go through it alone. I have faith that God knows what He is doing. So, there it is, and here I am. Love me or leave me. I am excited to see who I am on the other side of the season. Dead or alive, Soli Deo Gloria.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Parting Thoughts
My time here in Russellville, Arkansas, is nearing an end. I spent today packing, and will spend tomorrow running an errand to Little Rock, packing, and having a goodbye dinner with my GAC friends. After 4 months in Arkansas, I will miss the state. It truly is a beautiful state.
Looking back, I honestly have no idea why God brought me out here. I mean, I needed an internship to graduate with my Master's Degree, and He provided that. I worked with great people, met some other great people, and got a lot of championship operations experience. It was definitely outside of my norm, but I appreciate the experience. I had other offers closer to home, but I really felt God leading me out to Arkansas, so I faithfully went.
Spiritually, I feel that I regressed, as is evident by my lack of blog updates :( It has been rough out here on my own spiritually. Before WFBC, I was content being a spiritual loner because it was all I knew. After the fellowship of WFBC and Fight Club, moving out here nearly killed me. I tried my hand at a local church, but that didn't work out. I'd like to believe I helped those 6th and 8th grade boys out a bit, but I was only there for a few weeks. I had little to no interaction with anyone else. I only attended that church one Sunday. Spiritually, I have nothing to show for my time here, and that hurts :( However, I did get to spend 2 weekends with my uncle in Harrison, and I really like his church. If it hadn't been 2.5 hrs away through the mountains, I would have gone more often.
I am sad to say that my physical health suffered as well. I am normally sedentary, but aside from my co-workers I didn't meet anyone in Russellville that I spent time with. I was either in the office, or in my apartment. There are a lot of food options in Russellville, and though I tried cooking for myself I found it easier to just drive through somewhere. I have gained like 30 lbs in 4 months :( Last week, I began to act on my convictions, and I am trying to at least cut out soft drinks for the time being. There are a lot of hiking trails nearby. They have scenic Mt. Nebo, and lovely Lake Dardanelle, not to mention the Arkansas River. However, while I was out there I hated being by myself. It was still beautiful though.
I feel that my whole Arkansas experience was hindered by the short amount of time I was out here, at least in my mind. Though, I am sorry to leave it. My mother is from Arkansas, so I consider myself half Arkansan. If I could sum up my time here in one word it would be some variation of "lonely".
But...I have my Master's Degree in Sport Management from the University of Georgia. Yay! Now what? I return to Georgia with no job offers despite many applications sent out. Again, I feel that I have nothing to show for my time out here. I return to Georgia feeling defeated.
*Let me be clear to point out that every person that I worked with either in the conference office or its member institutions was amazing. The people I met in the various tournament cities were amazing as well. I hope they remember me fondly as I will remember them. My own personal sad feelings are not because of them. They were the highlights of my time in Arkansas, and I will miss them greatly.*
Also, my faith has strengthened this past week, and I have always known that God's plan is the best plan for me. He has not let me down yet, and so I pack to go home optimistically seeking His will. If I do not end up with a job in sports, then that is fine as long as I am not stuck in my parents' basement for an extended period of time. That would kill me.
Through His Word, God reminds me that He has a plan and a purpose for me, and that still gets me excited. Habakkuk 1:5, Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:10, etc. This is just a valley, and God will reveal the purpose of my time in Arkansas to me when I am ready to learn it. I will miss Arkansas, and will return in June to officially move out of my apartment. I am looking forward to seeing my Athenian brethren soon :)
Thank you, Arkansas, for your beauty. Thank you, Spring Lake Apartments, for an apartment that leaves me completely spoiled! Thank you Great American Conference for this opportunity! I will be the first to admit that I have issues, and I will work on them, but thank you all for putting up with me. I hope our paths cross again.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley
Looking back, I honestly have no idea why God brought me out here. I mean, I needed an internship to graduate with my Master's Degree, and He provided that. I worked with great people, met some other great people, and got a lot of championship operations experience. It was definitely outside of my norm, but I appreciate the experience. I had other offers closer to home, but I really felt God leading me out to Arkansas, so I faithfully went.
Spiritually, I feel that I regressed, as is evident by my lack of blog updates :( It has been rough out here on my own spiritually. Before WFBC, I was content being a spiritual loner because it was all I knew. After the fellowship of WFBC and Fight Club, moving out here nearly killed me. I tried my hand at a local church, but that didn't work out. I'd like to believe I helped those 6th and 8th grade boys out a bit, but I was only there for a few weeks. I had little to no interaction with anyone else. I only attended that church one Sunday. Spiritually, I have nothing to show for my time here, and that hurts :( However, I did get to spend 2 weekends with my uncle in Harrison, and I really like his church. If it hadn't been 2.5 hrs away through the mountains, I would have gone more often.
I am sad to say that my physical health suffered as well. I am normally sedentary, but aside from my co-workers I didn't meet anyone in Russellville that I spent time with. I was either in the office, or in my apartment. There are a lot of food options in Russellville, and though I tried cooking for myself I found it easier to just drive through somewhere. I have gained like 30 lbs in 4 months :( Last week, I began to act on my convictions, and I am trying to at least cut out soft drinks for the time being. There are a lot of hiking trails nearby. They have scenic Mt. Nebo, and lovely Lake Dardanelle, not to mention the Arkansas River. However, while I was out there I hated being by myself. It was still beautiful though.
I feel that my whole Arkansas experience was hindered by the short amount of time I was out here, at least in my mind. Though, I am sorry to leave it. My mother is from Arkansas, so I consider myself half Arkansan. If I could sum up my time here in one word it would be some variation of "lonely".
But...I have my Master's Degree in Sport Management from the University of Georgia. Yay! Now what? I return to Georgia with no job offers despite many applications sent out. Again, I feel that I have nothing to show for my time out here. I return to Georgia feeling defeated.
*Let me be clear to point out that every person that I worked with either in the conference office or its member institutions was amazing. The people I met in the various tournament cities were amazing as well. I hope they remember me fondly as I will remember them. My own personal sad feelings are not because of them. They were the highlights of my time in Arkansas, and I will miss them greatly.*
Also, my faith has strengthened this past week, and I have always known that God's plan is the best plan for me. He has not let me down yet, and so I pack to go home optimistically seeking His will. If I do not end up with a job in sports, then that is fine as long as I am not stuck in my parents' basement for an extended period of time. That would kill me.
Through His Word, God reminds me that He has a plan and a purpose for me, and that still gets me excited. Habakkuk 1:5, Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:10, etc. This is just a valley, and God will reveal the purpose of my time in Arkansas to me when I am ready to learn it. I will miss Arkansas, and will return in June to officially move out of my apartment. I am looking forward to seeing my Athenian brethren soon :)
Thank you, Arkansas, for your beauty. Thank you, Spring Lake Apartments, for an apartment that leaves me completely spoiled! Thank you Great American Conference for this opportunity! I will be the first to admit that I have issues, and I will work on them, but thank you all for putting up with me. I hope our paths cross again.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Standards
When you are just meeting someone you would potentially like to date, you get a lot of the same questions. "What is your favorite color?", etc. One I've heard a lot is "What do you look for in a girl?". I think this is a trap question for guys. Every person knows what they are attracted to. I have heard preachers say "Adam didn't have a choice with Eve." but since Adam and Eve had babies, we have a wide assortment to choose from. I, too, have my list of what I am attracted to. So, I started thinking about standards, not physical attraction standards but rather hardline standards. I'm getting to that age where "beggars can't be choosers" starts applying, but I still hold my standards. I thought I would list my standards for you:
1. Christian
2. Single, and wants to date me.
3. Virgin
4. Non-divorced
5. Close proximity
If I were living hundreds of years ago, I would be limited to my village; however in today's society with online dating, Facebook, quick travel, etc. it is possible to meet almost anyone. I have yet to meet one girl that has met all 5 of my criteria. I had a discussion with my friend about it, and he said I might have to start making some exceptions. So let's look at them again:
1. I can't budge on her being a Christian. Jesus is my main relationship, and if she can't share in that then I don't want to spend the time explaining it.
2. It is rather necessary for her to be Single and interested if we are to enter a relationship.
3. In today's society it is very hard to know for sure if someone is a virgin. For most of my early 20's I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, but now I'm completely jaded. I am a virgin, and I'm waiting for my wife, but I have no idea about anyone else. Given the circumstances surrounding the situation, I can make an exception here. It's a tough, sex-driven world and we all make mistakes. I cannot judge in this area.
4. I have been blown away by the number of girls I have met who are younger than me and divorced. Usually, they married someone in the military. I have to add something to this in that I count "We lived together then broke up" as a divorce too. Basically, if you lived together I assume you're not a virgin. Call me "old-fashioned", but I was raised to believe that marriage should never be entered lightly. It is a lifelong commitment. "Til Death Do Us Part" is not a suggestion. It's not "Until You Get Fat", or "Until You Cheat On Me". I am in no way condoning cheating on your spouse. "Do Not Commit Adultery" is pretty explicit. However, marriage is a covenant bond made in the sight of God. If you're upset that he/she cheated on you, read Hosea. I usually stop pursuing a girl if I find out she is divorced. I'm torn on the subject, especially if she was cheated on, but if the marriage can end so quickly it makes me doubt the security of our possible marriage. I know nobody plans to cheat on their spouse. Back to the military marriages, my sister is in one and I think they are doing quite well. I pray for them daily. However, I hear about her friends' divorces, and it kills me. I also have personal friends who are products of military divorce. Being apart from a spouse for extended periods of time hurts, I'm sure. And, I get it, you want to have sex before they leave. Who wouldn't? But wait, sex outside of marriage is wrong, so let's get married so we can have sex! Oh you're gone for a year, and my great guy friend comforted me; or I was deployed for a year, and there were these girls in the city...you know what I'm saying. I have really digressed...I could write a whole other post on divorce, but I won't. Let's just say I'm torn on the matter of whether or not it is a deal-breaker. It's just a lot of added baggage that I am not ready to deal with :/
5. This issue has arisen with online dating, etc. It's very hard if I cannot see you regularly. Words on a screen, or text messages, etc. only go so far to develop intimacy. I have to be able to stand being in the room with you, and vice versa. I want you to be comfortable with me. I added this standard because I know some girls who meet the hardline standards, yet are a thousand miles away. It's too emotionally taxing. Plus, there is a trap of getting too emotionally involved to where you get more content with the idea of the person than the person themselves. It's just a dangerous situation that I have introduced myself to, and got out of. I try not to knock it if I don't try it. It's just too emotionally taxing for me. I can't really make an exception here.
So, all of these standards point to faith. Do I have faith that God created a girl out there who meets all 5 of my standards? She could have red hair, black hair, no hair, etc. in 50 years we'll both look like crap. Will we both love and pursue Jesus? Will we be committed to each other? Will we have sexually known only each other? Will we be each others' only spouse? Will she be in my same zip code? That comes back to whether or not I meet my own #1. Am I pursuing Jesus? Am I seeking to grow daily in my relationship with Him? I admit, I've had a dry spell. I got caught up in feeling sorry for myself that my communication with Him was only one-sided. I have repented, and I'm dusting my sword off.
Let me also say that if you're a girl reading this, and you are divorced, or not a virgin, etc. please do not think I am putting myself higher than you, or condemning you, etc. I am not at all. You are loved, you are forgiven, and I am just a fellow sinner saved by grace. I am in need of daily forgiveness. I am aware that the odds are against my meeting a 5-point girl, but as long as we're both pursuing Christ then all else is under the blood, as they say. This subject was just on my mind.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart
1. Christian
2. Single, and wants to date me.
3. Virgin
4. Non-divorced
5. Close proximity
If I were living hundreds of years ago, I would be limited to my village; however in today's society with online dating, Facebook, quick travel, etc. it is possible to meet almost anyone. I have yet to meet one girl that has met all 5 of my criteria. I had a discussion with my friend about it, and he said I might have to start making some exceptions. So let's look at them again:
1. I can't budge on her being a Christian. Jesus is my main relationship, and if she can't share in that then I don't want to spend the time explaining it.
2. It is rather necessary for her to be Single and interested if we are to enter a relationship.
3. In today's society it is very hard to know for sure if someone is a virgin. For most of my early 20's I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, but now I'm completely jaded. I am a virgin, and I'm waiting for my wife, but I have no idea about anyone else. Given the circumstances surrounding the situation, I can make an exception here. It's a tough, sex-driven world and we all make mistakes. I cannot judge in this area.
4. I have been blown away by the number of girls I have met who are younger than me and divorced. Usually, they married someone in the military. I have to add something to this in that I count "We lived together then broke up" as a divorce too. Basically, if you lived together I assume you're not a virgin. Call me "old-fashioned", but I was raised to believe that marriage should never be entered lightly. It is a lifelong commitment. "Til Death Do Us Part" is not a suggestion. It's not "Until You Get Fat", or "Until You Cheat On Me". I am in no way condoning cheating on your spouse. "Do Not Commit Adultery" is pretty explicit. However, marriage is a covenant bond made in the sight of God. If you're upset that he/she cheated on you, read Hosea. I usually stop pursuing a girl if I find out she is divorced. I'm torn on the subject, especially if she was cheated on, but if the marriage can end so quickly it makes me doubt the security of our possible marriage. I know nobody plans to cheat on their spouse. Back to the military marriages, my sister is in one and I think they are doing quite well. I pray for them daily. However, I hear about her friends' divorces, and it kills me. I also have personal friends who are products of military divorce. Being apart from a spouse for extended periods of time hurts, I'm sure. And, I get it, you want to have sex before they leave. Who wouldn't? But wait, sex outside of marriage is wrong, so let's get married so we can have sex! Oh you're gone for a year, and my great guy friend comforted me; or I was deployed for a year, and there were these girls in the city...you know what I'm saying. I have really digressed...I could write a whole other post on divorce, but I won't. Let's just say I'm torn on the matter of whether or not it is a deal-breaker. It's just a lot of added baggage that I am not ready to deal with :/
5. This issue has arisen with online dating, etc. It's very hard if I cannot see you regularly. Words on a screen, or text messages, etc. only go so far to develop intimacy. I have to be able to stand being in the room with you, and vice versa. I want you to be comfortable with me. I added this standard because I know some girls who meet the hardline standards, yet are a thousand miles away. It's too emotionally taxing. Plus, there is a trap of getting too emotionally involved to where you get more content with the idea of the person than the person themselves. It's just a dangerous situation that I have introduced myself to, and got out of. I try not to knock it if I don't try it. It's just too emotionally taxing for me. I can't really make an exception here.
So, all of these standards point to faith. Do I have faith that God created a girl out there who meets all 5 of my standards? She could have red hair, black hair, no hair, etc. in 50 years we'll both look like crap. Will we both love and pursue Jesus? Will we be committed to each other? Will we have sexually known only each other? Will we be each others' only spouse? Will she be in my same zip code? That comes back to whether or not I meet my own #1. Am I pursuing Jesus? Am I seeking to grow daily in my relationship with Him? I admit, I've had a dry spell. I got caught up in feeling sorry for myself that my communication with Him was only one-sided. I have repented, and I'm dusting my sword off.
Let me also say that if you're a girl reading this, and you are divorced, or not a virgin, etc. please do not think I am putting myself higher than you, or condemning you, etc. I am not at all. You are loved, you are forgiven, and I am just a fellow sinner saved by grace. I am in need of daily forgiveness. I am aware that the odds are against my meeting a 5-point girl, but as long as we're both pursuing Christ then all else is under the blood, as they say. This subject was just on my mind.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Palm Sunday
WoW. It truly has been a whole month since I have last written. Allow me to explain:
The first week of March was spent in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, which turned out to be a lot of fun. I work with great people in the Great American Conference, and the city of Bartlesville threw everything they had into making it a great week for all of us. I cannot thank them enough.
The second week of March I got to go back to Georgia to see friends and family. I loved that week! I miss Watkinsville First Baptist Church so much it hurts. I miss the friends I had, the adults I could look up to, and the children I could lead. The welcome I received from my Fight Club brothers was worth the 9hr drive by itself. It really highlighted all that I have been missing here in Arkansas spiritually.
The last two weeks of March passed in relative silence here in Arkansas. Given the short length of time that I planned to be out here, it was very hard for me to try to get involved somewhere. It still is. Now that it's April, and my time with the GAC is over May 8, I have entered 'survival mode' in the sense that I'm just trying to get through a day at a time to get to the next step.
I believe this is a huge failure on my part. Boldness, attack, aggressiveness, initiative, etc. are not my normal personality settings. When I am around bold people, I become bold. When I see a problem, I attack. When I am told to do something, I do it. When I seek out opportunities, and am stymied, I am quick to get discouraged. Believe me, no one is more aware of my faults and imperfections than myself.
Two weeks of inactivity, and being left alone with my thoughts, is not very healthy for me. I also went the better part of those two weeks without my main addiction, Coca-Cola. It was a good time. Unfortunately, I hit "the sauce" again Thursday and have relatively drowned myself these past few days. I know I need to stop, and I think that I will be able to let it go again since it has become clear to me that I feel better without it than I do with it. Addictions suck. I can be thankful that I am not addicted to heavier things, but at the same time it's still slavery to something that isn't my Savior.
Speaking of my Savior, He rode into Jerusalem on a donkey about two thousand years ago. We take this day to remember and celebrate that. "Hosanna!" "Yay!", but in a week it will be "Crucify Him!". How fickle we are! How fickle I am! I may not be screaming "Crucify Him!", but I nail Him to that cross every day and night by my actions. My sins put Him on that cross. He didn't have to die for me. I don't deserve it. I did not ask for it. I honestly did not know or care. He died for me while I was yet a sinner. He did it because He loves me. (Romans 5:8) Most of the time, I do not even love myself. I have done some cool things in my life, things that I can be proud of, but that doesn't mean I love myself. Since I do not love myself, I do not expect others to love me. I have lived so much of my life serving others that I honestly do not care what happens to me. If I die alone and in obscurity, so be it. I ultimately want my life to reflect Christ and His Kingdom here on earth. I know that when I get to Heaven, I'll probably muck out stables in His Kingdom. Still, when the King is good, the people are happy :)
Given that, I have been doing a lot of thinking about legacies, writings, etc. As I read God's Word, I see ordinary people placed in extraordinary situations, and by the grace of God they prevail. These people were not perfect, but everything points to God's glory. I wonder how much of my life points to God's glory. Right now, it probably doesn't. Whether I am in a great mood, or a dark mood; whether I love myself, or hate myself; God is still on His throne. He was on His throne before He created me, and He will be on His throne for eternity. I make no difference. I read the letters of Paul, which comprise most of the New Testament, and even then we only get a glimpse of a few days of Paul's life where he actually put pen to paper. We weren't there on the days where he was pissed off. We weren't there on the days where he just sat and made a tent. All we know of him are the words he put on paper. He could have lied, he could have exaggerated the truth, we cannot know. We take it on faith. God showed me the importance of writing things down a few years ago, and despite my imperfections and failures I try to do so. It may not be as flowery as Paul's writings, but I do what I can. I shock myself at my brutality and honesty in my journal. Not everything in that journal makes it on here, and vice versa.
I read the Gospels, and we only see a few glimpses of a few days in the life of Jesus. I read all four accounts of the Triumphal Entry today, and what if the 'crowds' shouting "Hosanna!" were just 10-20 people. What if the "triumph" was scoffed at by casual onlookers. Because of writing, we understand it to be a huge event. In either case, Jesus fulfilled the prophecy of entering Jerusalem on a donkey. A week later, He hung on a cross for our sins. This just goes to show that His divine plan will be fulfilled regardless of what we think of it! There is a God, we rebelled against Him, He loves us and died for us, and regardless of what you may think He is coming back. This is just the way it is. Whatever counter arguments, rationales, etc. they do not matter. He was born, He lived, He allowed Himself to be murdered, and HE ROSE AGAIN! He is coming back. He does not need my permission to be God. I love Habakkuk 2:20 "But the Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before Him." I love that God is the One saying that. He is God...shut up! He loves you...shut up! He died for you...shut up! He came back for you...shut up! It blows my mind.
It floors me that no matter what mood I am in, I cannot *not* believe in Him. Renouncing Him is impossible for me. I may not feel saved, or I may not be a useful part of the Kingdom, but at the same time I believe with every part of me that He is real. I cannot eloquently put my finger on it at times, but He is still God. He is still on His throne. He will reign eternally. You decide what you will do about it. Hosanna.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart Kingsley
The first week of March was spent in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, which turned out to be a lot of fun. I work with great people in the Great American Conference, and the city of Bartlesville threw everything they had into making it a great week for all of us. I cannot thank them enough.
The second week of March I got to go back to Georgia to see friends and family. I loved that week! I miss Watkinsville First Baptist Church so much it hurts. I miss the friends I had, the adults I could look up to, and the children I could lead. The welcome I received from my Fight Club brothers was worth the 9hr drive by itself. It really highlighted all that I have been missing here in Arkansas spiritually.
The last two weeks of March passed in relative silence here in Arkansas. Given the short length of time that I planned to be out here, it was very hard for me to try to get involved somewhere. It still is. Now that it's April, and my time with the GAC is over May 8, I have entered 'survival mode' in the sense that I'm just trying to get through a day at a time to get to the next step.
I believe this is a huge failure on my part. Boldness, attack, aggressiveness, initiative, etc. are not my normal personality settings. When I am around bold people, I become bold. When I see a problem, I attack. When I am told to do something, I do it. When I seek out opportunities, and am stymied, I am quick to get discouraged. Believe me, no one is more aware of my faults and imperfections than myself.
Two weeks of inactivity, and being left alone with my thoughts, is not very healthy for me. I also went the better part of those two weeks without my main addiction, Coca-Cola. It was a good time. Unfortunately, I hit "the sauce" again Thursday and have relatively drowned myself these past few days. I know I need to stop, and I think that I will be able to let it go again since it has become clear to me that I feel better without it than I do with it. Addictions suck. I can be thankful that I am not addicted to heavier things, but at the same time it's still slavery to something that isn't my Savior.
Speaking of my Savior, He rode into Jerusalem on a donkey about two thousand years ago. We take this day to remember and celebrate that. "Hosanna!" "Yay!", but in a week it will be "Crucify Him!". How fickle we are! How fickle I am! I may not be screaming "Crucify Him!", but I nail Him to that cross every day and night by my actions. My sins put Him on that cross. He didn't have to die for me. I don't deserve it. I did not ask for it. I honestly did not know or care. He died for me while I was yet a sinner. He did it because He loves me. (Romans 5:8) Most of the time, I do not even love myself. I have done some cool things in my life, things that I can be proud of, but that doesn't mean I love myself. Since I do not love myself, I do not expect others to love me. I have lived so much of my life serving others that I honestly do not care what happens to me. If I die alone and in obscurity, so be it. I ultimately want my life to reflect Christ and His Kingdom here on earth. I know that when I get to Heaven, I'll probably muck out stables in His Kingdom. Still, when the King is good, the people are happy :)
Given that, I have been doing a lot of thinking about legacies, writings, etc. As I read God's Word, I see ordinary people placed in extraordinary situations, and by the grace of God they prevail. These people were not perfect, but everything points to God's glory. I wonder how much of my life points to God's glory. Right now, it probably doesn't. Whether I am in a great mood, or a dark mood; whether I love myself, or hate myself; God is still on His throne. He was on His throne before He created me, and He will be on His throne for eternity. I make no difference. I read the letters of Paul, which comprise most of the New Testament, and even then we only get a glimpse of a few days of Paul's life where he actually put pen to paper. We weren't there on the days where he was pissed off. We weren't there on the days where he just sat and made a tent. All we know of him are the words he put on paper. He could have lied, he could have exaggerated the truth, we cannot know. We take it on faith. God showed me the importance of writing things down a few years ago, and despite my imperfections and failures I try to do so. It may not be as flowery as Paul's writings, but I do what I can. I shock myself at my brutality and honesty in my journal. Not everything in that journal makes it on here, and vice versa.
I read the Gospels, and we only see a few glimpses of a few days in the life of Jesus. I read all four accounts of the Triumphal Entry today, and what if the 'crowds' shouting "Hosanna!" were just 10-20 people. What if the "triumph" was scoffed at by casual onlookers. Because of writing, we understand it to be a huge event. In either case, Jesus fulfilled the prophecy of entering Jerusalem on a donkey. A week later, He hung on a cross for our sins. This just goes to show that His divine plan will be fulfilled regardless of what we think of it! There is a God, we rebelled against Him, He loves us and died for us, and regardless of what you may think He is coming back. This is just the way it is. Whatever counter arguments, rationales, etc. they do not matter. He was born, He lived, He allowed Himself to be murdered, and HE ROSE AGAIN! He is coming back. He does not need my permission to be God. I love Habakkuk 2:20 "But the Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before Him." I love that God is the One saying that. He is God...shut up! He loves you...shut up! He died for you...shut up! He came back for you...shut up! It blows my mind.
It floors me that no matter what mood I am in, I cannot *not* believe in Him. Renouncing Him is impossible for me. I may not feel saved, or I may not be a useful part of the Kingdom, but at the same time I believe with every part of me that He is real. I cannot eloquently put my finger on it at times, but He is still God. He is still on His throne. He will reign eternally. You decide what you will do about it. Hosanna.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart Kingsley
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
No Room in the Inn
As I write this it is 1am CST on Thursday, March 1 (happy birthday Gegot!), and I cannot sleep. I attribute that to the Coke I drank about 2hrs ago. Caffeine withdrawal headaches are mean. I went all day Tuesday without a Coke, and paid the price on Wednesday. Wednesday was probably my 2nd worst day in this job.
My first major task for the GAC was to book hotel rooms for the conference MBB and WBB teams who would be participating in our conference tournament here in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, where I am writing from. Coming into Bartlesville, I was confident that all rooms were secure and accounted for. Around 4pm CST Wednesday I found out just how wrong I was. There was one AD that I just completely forgot to book, so that was my fault. There were about four other instances where the hotels dropped the ball as well. My representative with the Bartlesville Sports Commission is a saint, an angel, etc. God used her in miraculous ways today, and we were able to place everyone in a room Wednesday night with issues to be sorted out for the remaining nights, hopefully. Even I changed rooms tonight! I went from having 2 Queen beds to 1 King to help our GAC Sports Network guys out, so that was a blessing. I am writing this as a testament to how awesome God is even when I drop the ball.
I was also reminded of something powerful, and I must chronicle it. I do not care if 'chronicle' is not a verb, I just made it one. It struck me as powerful that Jesus Himself was humble enough to be born in a manger in a city where there was no room for Him in an inn. He could have been born in a palace, surrounded by servants, etc. Instead He chose a manger surrounded by animals and smelly shepherds. I remember the ordeal today where an AD did not have a room, and it still mortifies me. Granted, it is my job to supply the rooms, and for the most part they were all ready, but still...it is expected, nothing less than the best. I am not saying the AD should be prepared to sleep outside, not at all. Surely, I would relinquish my own room and sleep in my truck (Scarlet made the trip to OK!) than have my failure cause a detriment to someone else. I hate failure, yet I fail so much. My greatest fear is to fail the GAC, which means I fail UGA, which means I fail my family, etc. By the grace of God, through the BSC and Conoco-Philips, all of the GAC affiliates have a place to lay their heads tonight...and I cannot sleep. The irony is palpable, but blessed. I am desperately dependent on the Hand of God to keep me alive and functioning. He has brought to my heart things to pray about that I can guarantee nobody else in this city is praying for, and it keeps me awake. Someone as insignificant as me can still irreparably harm an event like this, and it terrifies me. I'm all well and good with getting no recognition for any small good thing I do, hey, it's my job. However, when one small failure could instantly bring all wrath down on me, I stay up at night praying. I am excited about this trip. I have been looking forward to this trip. I pray God's blessing on this tournament this weekend. I pray for safety for everyone involved, and for a fun time for all. I pray for healthy competition for His glory. No matter what He sees fit to do with me, I will honor Him. I am fully aware of how wretched I am, and that allows me to be more aware of His grace and mercy in my life. I am unworthy of it, but I pray for it in abundance because I need it. I am like a toddler knocking everything over, and not yet potty-trained, and I feel that He is a loving Father who puts up with me because He loves me. I pray for that love to shine through so that everyone around me can see it despite myself.
There was no room in the inn in Bethlehem for the Savior, but because of Him Bartlesville, Oklahoma, rests peacefully tonight on the eve of the GAC Basketball Tournament. I pray I shall soon be asleep peacefully as well. If you read this, please pray for us out here. And as Paul said, "Pray also for me..." because I sure need all the help I can get. Amen.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley
My first major task for the GAC was to book hotel rooms for the conference MBB and WBB teams who would be participating in our conference tournament here in Bartlesville, Oklahoma, where I am writing from. Coming into Bartlesville, I was confident that all rooms were secure and accounted for. Around 4pm CST Wednesday I found out just how wrong I was. There was one AD that I just completely forgot to book, so that was my fault. There were about four other instances where the hotels dropped the ball as well. My representative with the Bartlesville Sports Commission is a saint, an angel, etc. God used her in miraculous ways today, and we were able to place everyone in a room Wednesday night with issues to be sorted out for the remaining nights, hopefully. Even I changed rooms tonight! I went from having 2 Queen beds to 1 King to help our GAC Sports Network guys out, so that was a blessing. I am writing this as a testament to how awesome God is even when I drop the ball.
I was also reminded of something powerful, and I must chronicle it. I do not care if 'chronicle' is not a verb, I just made it one. It struck me as powerful that Jesus Himself was humble enough to be born in a manger in a city where there was no room for Him in an inn. He could have been born in a palace, surrounded by servants, etc. Instead He chose a manger surrounded by animals and smelly shepherds. I remember the ordeal today where an AD did not have a room, and it still mortifies me. Granted, it is my job to supply the rooms, and for the most part they were all ready, but still...it is expected, nothing less than the best. I am not saying the AD should be prepared to sleep outside, not at all. Surely, I would relinquish my own room and sleep in my truck (Scarlet made the trip to OK!) than have my failure cause a detriment to someone else. I hate failure, yet I fail so much. My greatest fear is to fail the GAC, which means I fail UGA, which means I fail my family, etc. By the grace of God, through the BSC and Conoco-Philips, all of the GAC affiliates have a place to lay their heads tonight...and I cannot sleep. The irony is palpable, but blessed. I am desperately dependent on the Hand of God to keep me alive and functioning. He has brought to my heart things to pray about that I can guarantee nobody else in this city is praying for, and it keeps me awake. Someone as insignificant as me can still irreparably harm an event like this, and it terrifies me. I'm all well and good with getting no recognition for any small good thing I do, hey, it's my job. However, when one small failure could instantly bring all wrath down on me, I stay up at night praying. I am excited about this trip. I have been looking forward to this trip. I pray God's blessing on this tournament this weekend. I pray for safety for everyone involved, and for a fun time for all. I pray for healthy competition for His glory. No matter what He sees fit to do with me, I will honor Him. I am fully aware of how wretched I am, and that allows me to be more aware of His grace and mercy in my life. I am unworthy of it, but I pray for it in abundance because I need it. I am like a toddler knocking everything over, and not yet potty-trained, and I feel that He is a loving Father who puts up with me because He loves me. I pray for that love to shine through so that everyone around me can see it despite myself.
There was no room in the inn in Bethlehem for the Savior, but because of Him Bartlesville, Oklahoma, rests peacefully tonight on the eve of the GAC Basketball Tournament. I pray I shall soon be asleep peacefully as well. If you read this, please pray for us out here. And as Paul said, "Pray also for me..." because I sure need all the help I can get. Amen.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley
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