The parts of church that I loved are over. College friends have graduated or are gone for the summer. I start Maymester tomorrow, but interaction will be limited by a small class size (I have 4 classmates). I am again at a point where I feel the best times are behind me. I am a fool. God has come through every time in a big way. I know He will blow me away. God is the Author, and any story that I could write is nothing compared to the story He is writing for me. I always want to take the pen away from Him because I think I have a feel for where the story is going and I think I can write it better. That'd be like me telling J.K. Rowling that I could write Harry Potter or George R.R. Martin that I could write The Song of Ice and Fire. It's all madness. God is giddy with excitement at each turn of my page. Each chapter yields something new and awesome. I say 2008 was the best year for me. True. I was most happy then, but at the end God leveled me. He destroyed everything I tried to build on His foundation. He burned every page I tried to write. Look at 2009. FCA Camp and Camp Icthus. God rocked me to my core and set my feet on a rock. The Rock. At the end of 2009 at camp in Fontana, NC, I wept because of His redemption. Look at 2010. He let me grow in Fight Club. He provided for grad school so I could stay in Athens. I did Daytona, Rock Haven in Arkansas, and 2 weeks of Camp Icthus. Three weeks in a row: Icthus/Rock Haven/Icthus. He told me to jump into WFBC and the Underground. I grew exponentially. Fontana, Valentine's Day w/ the WFBC crew, the College Retreat, etc. began 2011. Now all that is over, but there is still room to grow. I only have 2 camps planned this summer (both Icthus). I know I will look back on 2011 on New Year's Eve and fall to my knees again. This is my "breather" right now. I just need to focus on Him. I am definitely in a "now what?" phase even though I have my plans laid out for the rest of this year. God promises good to me. I challenge Him to show Himself. I encourage Him to show off. I dare Him to use me. I love Him. That's why I started writing my journal (transcribed partially into this blog), to record how awesome He is. No matter how sad or depressed I feel, I set my eyes on Him and feel better. Philippians 1:6 says He will complete the good work He started in me. Habakkuk 1:5 says I wouldn't believe it if He told me what it is. Romans 8 tells me I am more than a conqueror. Nothing can separate me from His love. All things work together for my good. In my mind and heart I have desires, but here in my "breather" there is only Him.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart
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