We're all told to "count the cost" when we consider following Christ. When we're told that following Christ will cost us our life, we automatically picture ourselves dying horribly in His name. We hear the stories of martyrs, and assume that that will be our fate as well. Granted, Jesus Himself was brutally murdered, Paul and John the Baptist were quietly beheaded, and 10 of the original 12 disciples were martyred as well. This is what we believe, people. The more I think about it, what better way to die? We all want to die for something, right? Deep down, you know you want to die for something greater than yourself. We all want to be heroes. But, what is death really? Death is the end of biological life on earth. None can escape it, save a select few special people that God set apart. The old phrase "If it were easy, everyone would do it." means that death is the easiest thing to do. If following Christ costs us our lives in the sense that we just die for Him, then that is way too easy. We'd be one of those cults with the Kool-Aid. Even Paul said dying to be with Christ is far better than staying on earth to worry about earthly problems. (Philippians 1:23). I once read someone who asked "If Christians really believed in Heaven, why don't they all just commit suicide?". Good question, actually. I've asked myself that before. Here's the answer I came up with:
Following Christ costs us our life because we die to our own desires. We put to death the desires of the flesh. Paul talks about that extensively in his letters. Die to self, die to sin. Mortification of the flesh. All we have is time really. How do we spend our time? Do we find Christ and live the same life we lived before Him? If that's the case then did we really find Him? No, we have to give up our lives to Him. We have to give up our livelihoods to Him. We have to reach a point where we say "Lord, the girl, the car, the house, the dog, the job, the money, everything is worthless. I only want You." We have to give up living out our own desires and live for His desires. See, I believe we Christians don't just off ourselves because we understand that Jesus is the only hope for a dying world, and we need to spend the rest of the time we have making His Name known and advancing His kingdom. Yes, it costs our lives, it doesn't mean we just die for Him. I would love to die for Christ, but will I live for Him?
One of the blessings I received from The Underground this semester was a copy of David Platt's Radical. Now, I admit right now I tend to avoid spiritual help books (Haha, and I want to write one!). I heard about the concept of Radical and immediately thought, "Great. If I don't sell everything I have and go witness to the Bedouins in Algeria then I'm not a Christian." And...that's what the book basically says, but not in that context. Platt literally took every excuse I could think of and buried it in Scripture. Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to sell everything I have and move to Algeria tomorrow (though when I read Chapter 7 I started going through the logistics in my mind. Hah!) but it does mean that I understand the sense of urgency. Now, I'm not going to point fingers or say "you should..." or anything. Remember, this blog is a declaration of my own experiences that I hope will help you as well. What am I doing to help advance Christ's Kingdom here on earth? What am I doing to attack Satan's Dominion to the point where he has to throw everything he has against me so that I can take pressure off of other brothers and sisters on the battle lines? Will my life matter? Does my life count? Does following Christ cost me anything? I have to say that right now, no, it doesn't. Sure, it costs me time, but that's time conveniently scheduled during the week. He provides everything I need, and even some things I like to have but don't need. What am I sacrificing? I schedule time for Him after I'm done with class and work. Now, don't get me wrong, I can worship Him through class and work and I do my best to. I try to make A's and honor my bosses and colleagues. I try to live my life for Him every day. I lay my reputation at His feet. Romans 12:1 says "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual act of worship." That basically says it all. Also, consider Jesus saying "whoever finds his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it" (Matthew 10:39; Matthew 16:25; Mark 8:35; Luke 9:24). We are to present our bodies as a 'living' sacrifice and that is our 'spiritual' act of worship. A physical act worships in spirit as well. Works don't save me, but am I bearing fruit? I believe I am bearing fruit now where I wasn't before, and I hope to continue to grow. Seriously, if I plant an apple seed I expect an apple tree and not a grape vine. If the seed of the Spirit is planted in me then one should expect to see the fruit of the Spirit growing out of me.
Galatians 5:22-23 lists the fruit of the Spirit: "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Am I loving people? Not just loving a girlfriend or a wife, but am I going out of my way to sacrifice for people? Do I have joy, and can people see that I have joy in any circumstance? Do I not only experience peace, but seek to spread it as well? Am I patient? Am I kind? Am I good? Am I faithful and reliable? Am I gentle? Do I exhibit self-control in my life to where people can see it? If I'm honest with myself, God is giving me a growing heart for strangers and people in need. I do not feel that I have joy most times. I'm either happy or sad, but joy should transcend feelings. Lately, especially this week, I've delighted in Him despite how I felt, so I do feel the seed of joy sprouting in me, but it's still tiny. I'm very militaristic, I view spirituality as a war. I'm quick to seek retribution if I'm wronged. No, I do not consider myself a peacemaker. In terms of inner peace and lack of worry, I'm getting better though. No, I am not patient, that's why I loved Habakkuk 2:2 and 2:3 (see Habakkuk post). I'd like to think I'm kind. I'm a big Teddy Bear, but sometimes I feel like the Teddy Bear from "Hunter: The Reckoning" (props if you get the reference). I am in no ways good. Only God is good, as Jesus told the Rich Young Ruler. I would like to think I'm faithful and reliable. I do my best to be loyal and dependable. I think I'm gentle too. Self-control...nope...nope...*sigh*
So, I count the cost and adjust accordingly. I cannot do this on my own. I daily, desperately need the Spirit to intercede for me. I have a long way to go. Justification is instant, Sanctification is slow. I'd like to think I'll die for Him. I'd like to think I could give my life up for someone else. I'd like to die a hero. I'd like to leave a legacy. Not just a legacy that would put me in history books that will burn, but a legacy that lasts for eternity. I want to maximize the number of people who are in Heaven because I did my duty and minimize the number of people who are in Hell because I didn't. That is a humble, sobering thought. Each day, each breath, each word I owe to Him who paid the ultimate price to redeem what He already had the rights to. I will continue to fail, continue to fall, but by His grace I will continue to get back up.
I love you all. Thank you for reading. I'll try to slow down so that you can catch up on the reading. I saw that I'm over 50 page views, so thank you to my mother for visiting this site 50 times ;) No, seriously, thank you to all of you who read this. I hope it can grow into something, and I hope that you will keep coming back. And, if you see me at church or in class, feel free to ask me anything or call me out on anything. I do all of this humbly in order that God may receive all the glory. I didn't care about writing things down until 2009 and then again I didn't care about writing things like this until a month or so ago. This is just more fruit.
For the Kingdom,
Stuart
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