26

Well, my "give-a-damn" is busted.  I had a rough week, plus I contracted a cold.  I had a lot of prayer time, and God stayed with me through it all.  I turned 26 this past Tuesday, and I had an identity crisis.  I hope it's not a mid-life crisis because I'd like to live past 52.  I began exercising during my lunch hour, and I changed up my diet.  It's been going well.  I feel a lot better about myself, and I lost 3lbs this week.  I'm eating less, not drinking soda, and drinking more water.  Things are going well.  I pray I can stick with it.  It was a fairly eventful week.  I had a good birthday up until right before Fight Club, and that kind of soured me the rest of the week.  I just didn't know where I fit anymore.  I had my 8th grade guys that I lead, but I got moved to 6th grade guys instead, so I had to deal with that.  Now I'm pretty excited to see what God has in store.  I do not like change, and it takes me a while to get used to it, but eventually I jump on board completely.  I can be a jerk, and I don't like it :(  If I've been a jerk to you, I sincerely apologize.  Feel free to talk to me about it.  What I've learned through it all is that I'm really not worth anything.  Seriously, I'm just a pile of dust that God saw fit to breathe life into, and for some reason He loves me.  I say I want to serve God and serve others, but when I feel Him call me I am the first to offer a list of excuses.  I'm glad He will use me despite me.  My spirit really wants to serve Him, but my flesh is holding on for dear life.  My flesh doesn't want to die.  I'm called to die to myself daily, pick up my cross and follow Christ.  I am completely removed from the equation.  Any status or reputation I gain is laid at the foot of His throne.  One of my favorite movie quotes comes from Prince Caspian where Aslan tells Lucy that things never happen the same way twice.  This year is different, not worse.  I can get excited about the new things to come, the new horizons.  I'm in a fantastic youth group, and I get to lead fantastic kids.  I am in a pretty neat small group with a lot of newbies to get to know.  I have people who care about me.  Things will go well.  I have to just re-root my identity in Christ and claim the joy of my salvation.  I had a week off, but I'm back :)  I pray He blesses this coming week.  He must increase, and I must decrease.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart