Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Perseverance

Hello, 2015!  It's been too long since I have written.  Since I last wrote I:
1. Got a new job
2. Got a new wife - pun intended

Big changes!  I love being married!  I waited my whole life for my wife, Bethany, and I couldn't be happier.

My new job is actually with my same employer.  Instead of being a Special Education Paraprofessional at Hampton High School I am now a Freshman English Teacher at Hampton High School.  Go Hornets!  I really enjoy working at HHS.

When I entered Public Education in 2012 I had no idea where it would lead.  In fact, as I've written, I never thought I'd be a teacher.  Once I was in, however, I decided to pursue a path that would lead to me being an English teacher.  I hadn't thought about what grade level, and it just so happened a Freshman job opened up towards the end of September.  I started in the classroom the Monday before I married Bethany on Saturday, and that next week was our Honeymoon over Fall Break.  Needless to say, I've hit the ground running!  I've also been playing catch up, defense, and all other terms relating to survival.  If I'm going to start somewhere, I'm blessed that it is Hampton High School.

Entering this new year, however, has been very stressful.  I've been feeling overwhelmed with all of the things that need to happen.  Thankfully, I work with great people who help me take these tasks and put them into bite-sized chunks.  That brings me to the title of this blog post:  Perseverance

Everything I write on this blog will point back to my Savior, Jesus, and all He has done for me.  I've already written about how awesome He is about providing and being faithful.  He provided me a spouse, a house, and a job all in the same week!  He's definitely in control of my life.  Right now, I'm focusing on persevering and growing.  Earlier this week He laid the Fruit of the Spirit on my heart.  I believe I've written a post about that topic before.  This time around, my Joy and Peace have been taking huge hits.  Satan knows he can keep my spirit restless with all of the things I need to be doing, or should be doing, or could be better at at work.  I struggle to find Peace in it all.  This has been a rough week, but today was good.  Tomorrow, going into the weekend, will be a lot of hard work though.  I can't allow myself to feel overwhelmed or defeated.  I know it is all temporary, and that a lot of good will come from it.  Everything about Hampton High School is new, and we are all learning as we go.  I have to pray against Fear and Doubt every day.  I have to pray that God grants me Joy and Peace.

I have always respected my teachers.  When I got into Public Education, I really respected the teachers I worked with.  Now that I am a teacher, I really have a great respect for it!  There are a lot of things that go into being a teacher that most people will never see, experience, or understand!  Bottom line though is that it is all about the kids.  I'm blessed that God put me in a position to interact with, and speak into, so many high school students.

So, as I go into 2015 I will focus on Perseverance.  Growth isn't easy, but it is rewarding.  I will have to put "Oceans" by Hillsong United on repeat in my truck on the way to school in the mornings, but I will get through.  I am so blessed, and so thankful!  Soli Deo Gloria.  Amen.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley

Monday, September 22, 2014

(No) Regrets

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore, Dream, Discover." –Mark Twain.  One of my colleagues has this as her e-mail signature quote.

"You not a leader cuz they follow you on Twitter
And you not a man based upon your age and your gender
If you die tonight you'll probably die a boy chasing toys 
Objectifying these women thinkin' they gon' bring you joy
Don't you want more than last night's bragging rights?" -- "No Regrets" by Lecrae

What does it mean to regret?  Well, I can regret not doing something, which is what the Mark Twain quote talks about, or I can regret having done something, which the Lecrae quote refers to.  I may wish I had done something, or I may wish I had not done something.  In my life, I have examples of both.  I wish that I had not made the mistake that I made at the end of 2008.  I wonder what life would be like now if I hadn't.  Even though I have moved on, and grown, I can't help thinking "what if?" from time to time.  Those thoughts hit me about once a month now, which is a lot better than it was 5 years ago when I dwelt on it daily.  It's hard to confess, but I want to put it out there, that once a month or so I regret not taking advantage of opportunities I had in college to physically pursue female friends of mine.  I know that's hard to hear, and it's hard for me to say, but there is a point to saying it.  Again, it's much more infrequent.

I began this blog with the intent to use it to glorify God.  I glorify Him through what I learn in His Word.  I also glorify Him through what He has done in my life.  I want to illustrate just how much He changed my heart, and renews it daily.  My greatest spiritual battles have always been on the field of desire.  It has taken years for me to align my desires with the desires God has for me.  I learned the hard way that He is right, I am wrong, and how to deal with it.  God took my shameful, evil, lustful desires, and He gave me a desire for Him, His Word, and my wife.

For so long I truly believed I would be single forever.  Sure, I hoped I'd find a wife, but I really didn't live a lifestyle that showed others that I believed it.  I continued acting upon my desires as long as they didn't cross over into physical territory that I would regret telling my wife about one day.  Even then, I slipped up more times than I should have.  One in particular.  I do regret having done as much as I did.  There was forgiveness and grace, but it cost me a dear friendship.  I won't go into detail, obviously, but Bethany knows about my history.  That incident happened in 2006.  The next incident I will mention happened in 2010, just four years later.  This incident shows how God changed my heart, and He gets the glory.  In 2010, around my birthday, a dear female friend of mine threw herself at me.  By the grace of God, and the thought of my future wife, I was able to say no even though it was extremely hard.  I didn't even know who Bethany New was at that time, but God had laid my wife on my heart in 2009 as part of my growth.  That carried me through that situation and a few more situations with that same girl.

By the grace of God, I can look into Bethany's eyes with very few regrets.  I can be thankful that God spared me from the worst.  I have experienced pure forgiveness and grace from God and Bethany, and that gives me great courage to continue serving both of them.  I am thankful that the regrets I mentioned before come more and more infrequently, and I pray they cease to bother me altogether.  Now, when sinful desires arise, they drive me closer to God for protection.  They will also drive me closer to my gorgeous wife.  Twelve days left before the wedding.  I am stoked beyond words or belief!  I do not deserve a woman like Bethany.  I deserve to be left to my own sordid desires that would ultimately lead me eternally away from God.  I am so thankful that He loves me enough to spare me, cleanse me, and strengthen my hands to keep fighting.  I give Him all honor and glory for the man I am today.  I hope the growth continues, and I can't wait to see the man I will become.

*Sorry for the highlighting.  I don't know how to get rid of it.*

For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley

Friday, September 19, 2014

Autobiography Assignment

                My Freshmen were given an autobiography assignment.  So far they have presented good work.  I decided to throw my hat in the ring as well.  Here is my autobiography:

            My name is Stuart Kingsley.  I was born on August 23, 1985, to Warren and Jean Kingsley.  I was born in Riverdale, Georgia, but I grew up in Jonesboro, Georgia.  Of course, I do not remember much from the first few years of my life, but I know that my mother stayed at home to raise me.  I would learn as I got older that my father was a lawyer in Atlanta.  My mother raised me on the Word of God, and my father raised me on military history and mythology.  Thanks to my mother, I learned how to read at an early age.  She taught me the alphabet with cards that had Bible verses, so I learned a letter and a verse all at once.  I had a wooden puzzle of the United States, so I learned U.S. Geography.  The states were different colors in that puzzle, and to this day I think of each state as that color.  The ironic thing is that I’m colorblind!  Most importantly, my parents raised me in the Christian faith.  I believed that Jesus Christ was Lord and Savior when I was four years old.  I was in the bath tub, and my mother led me in the prayer.  After I had made the decision, I went downstairs to tell my father and his friend that I had trusted Christ.  They were very happy.  My father is very smart and very well-read.  I can always trust my father to be honest with me, and give me good advice.  Thanks to my parents, I had a solid foundation that was laid for the rest of my life.  On this foundation, God would build the man I am today.  He would also destroy and remove anything I tried to build for myself on that foundation.  I am the man I am today because of my faith, my family, my education, and my relationships.

            Two of the most important bricks on the foundation have been my siblings.  I have one sister, Valerie (25), and one brother, Garrett (21).  Valerie was born when I was 3.  I remember my parents calling me into the room to tell me I was going to have a sister.  I was very excited, even for my limited three-year-old understanding.  They allowed me to name her by giving me a choice from two names.  My mother proposed Lydia, and my father proposed Valerie.  I chose Valerie because of a famous song that my father always sang.  From an early age, my sister and I fought each other a lot, but we also loved each other.  When I was 7, and my sister was 4, our brother Garrett was born.  My sister and I stopped fighting each other, and turned to fighting our baby brother.  However, we quickly learned that we didn’t want the kid to grow up resenting us, so we switched to loving him.  The three of us became really close.  I only have one sister and one brother, and I love them dearly.  I could write a whole other blog post about the “SVG” experience.  Valerie is currently living in Germany with her husband, and her son.  Garrett is currently a Junior at Georgia Southern University.  I miss my siblings, and I really enjoy whatever time I get to spend with them.

            When I was about four years old, I started preschool at Reynolds Nature Preserve.  It was called Reynolds Recess.  It was taught by a woman I now call “mom” because I grew up being friends with her son.  I remember having fun there.  Right down the road from RNP was the church I grew up in, Community Bible Church.  When I was growing up, until about 1993, CBC was in Morrow, Georgia.  In 1993, the church branched off into Stockbridge, GA, and we started going to the Stockbridge branch.  Now, CBC is based at the Stockbridge location.  The Morrow location was sold to Rock Springs Baptist Church many years ago.  In about 1990/1991 Community Bible Church housed Clayton Christian School.  I started at CCS in Kindergarten, and attended through 8th grade.  Again, I could write a whole separate blog post about the CCS/CCA experience.  Maybe I will one day.  What I will say about CCS/CCA is that it gave me a solid educational foundation that would propel me into Honors status in high school. 

In 2000 I started as a Freshman at Jonesboro High School.  Initially, I was very scared of the thought of public high school.  My perception of public school was shaped by television.  Shows like Doug and Saved By The Bell taught me that the kind of boy I was would lead to vast amounts of humiliation.  I just knew I would be hazed, made fun of, etc.  I had been bullied at CCA for being fat and un-athletic (at a Christian school), so I couldn’t imagine the horrors that awaited me in a Clayton County public school.  I had four of the best years of my life at Jonesboro High School.  In 7th Grade, my mentor, Coach Gillette, asked me to be his Basketball manager.  It allowed me to participate from a servant’s role.  That decision led me to sign on as the Football and Baseball manager at Jonesboro High School.  As a Freshman manager, I served the two sports teams well, and the Senior athletes took me under their wing.  I enjoyed notoriety and popularity unlike anything I was able to experience at CCA.  My solid academic foundation supported me into a straight-A (minus a C in Honors Chemistry my Sophomore year), AP, Honors status upon my graduation in 2004.  I was also selected to attend the prestigious Governor’s Honors Program in the Summer of 2003 with 600 other elite Georgia high school students.  I had fantastic teachers and coaches.  I had some not so good teachers and coaches.  I was well-liked and respected by my peers.  Overall, I really appreciated my time at Jonesboro High School.  My final grades were enough to get me into the University of Georgia.

In 2004, I began my Freshman year at the University of Georgia.  I had been a Basketball manager in middle school, a Football/Baseball manager in high school, and as a life-long Georgia Football fan I sought to be a Football manager at UGA.  By the grace of God, I was able to start as a volunteer equipment manager for the 2004 season.  Being a UGA Football student equipment manager defined me for the next 5 years.  I don’t remember much about my academics.  I graduated with a 2.9 GPA, which sucked compared to my 4.0+ from high school, but I didn’t care.  I was able to remain on the football team.  I spent my first season only working practices.  I helped the Defensive Line manager since he had the most gear to set up before practices.  In doing so, I got to know Coach Garner and the Defensive Linemen.  I worked on a staff of twelve student managers and two full-time managers.  In 2005 I was with the team when they won the SEC Championship.  I loved being an equipment manager because I got all the perks of being on an SEC Football team without having to be hit by SEC Football players every day.  Again, I could write a whole other blog post about my time at the University of Georgia.  My Football position ended after the 2009 Capital One Bowl.  I earned my Bachelors Degree in Sport Management also in 2009.  I stayed in Athens to work with the UGA Ticket Office until I earned my Masters Degree in Sport Management in 2012.

Enough about academics, let’s move on to relationships.  Throughout my childhood I had many crushes.  In high school I was never popular enough to be a desirable date, so I continued to harbor crushes.  I was constantly put in the “friend zone”.  I have always been an observer, so I gained wisdom through the experiences of others.  I was always able to give good advice, whether or not it was actually heeded.  One of my nicknames in high school was “Judge” because I was able to mediate well.  I said I was well-known, well-respected, and well-liked, but I was never “popular”.  I was constantly a big brother figure to the girls I had crushes on.  I have been overweight most of my life, and people, especially females, haven’t been able to see past that.  I don’t blame them.  Guys are visual beings, and even though girls swear they aren’t, I am not much to look at.  In college, I was able to spend more personal time with girls since we were on our own.  A few girls actually started liking me in return, but they never had the same level of feelings that I had for them.  In a weird turn of events, I began having girls fall for me, yet I wasn’t interested in them.  I didn’t know how to handle that.  I felt like a jerk.  In 2008, I fell in love with a girl I met in a summer class.  I pursued confidently, and she responded in kind.  We grew together for 5 months, but she didn’t want to put a label on our relationship.  We never became official or exclusive even though I didn’t want to pursue anyone but her.  In December 2008, she broke up with me.  I made a mistake, and even though it was minor and forgivable she decided to cut me off.  That Christmas Break broke me.  I managed to enjoy the Capital One Bowl trip to Orlando, but on the inside I was dying.  When I returned to UGA in January, I no longer had Football every day.  I no longer had classes every day.  Instead, I reported for an unpaid internship in the Ticket Office every day through my May graduation.  I was very empty.  The girl came back from Christmas break and reached out to me.  She forgave me, and said all the things I had hoped she would say.  I thought we would be okay.  Then, randomly, she decided to stop talking to me.  To this day, I do not know her thought process about me.  For the next three years I would live without closure.  To this day, I still don’t have closure from her, but life has made me stronger.  That one event, that destruction of what I had tried to build on God’s foundation, was the beginning of the man I am today.  In 2009, Stuart Kingsley was truly born again.

I started going back to church in 2009.  All through my undergraduate career I didn’t set foot inside of a church building.  It wasn’t that I had lost my faith.  I still carried my beliefs and convictions.  I just wanted to see what the world had to offer.  By the grace of God, I came through it relatively unscathed.  During the 2006 season I really ran into the world’s arms, but that ended after we beat Auburn and I almost ended up in a one-night stand.  I realized that I was empty, so I turned back to God.  I grew some in 2007, but my belief that I was entitled to a girlfriend in 2008 due to having enough “holy points” was one of the reasons the destruction of that idol hurt so much.  Also in 2009, I was invited to a Young Men’s group at Watkinsville First Baptist Church.  That group was called Fight Club.  For three years that group taught me all about biblical masculinity.  I’ve written about it in previous blog posts, so you can see it there, but this group changed my life.  I ended up attending WFBC regularly in 2010, and I miss it to this day.  I got to the point at the beginning of 2009 where I felt God say, “Okay, now that I have your attention, do you really believe in Me?”  When I answered, “Yes”, He said, “Okay, let’s do this!”  I haven’t been the same since.  My spiritual life has grown exponentially.  I learned who I was in Christ, and I learned how to be a man.  I learned how to love a woman.  Eventually, I started looking for that woman.

My time in Athens ended at the end of 2011.  I moved to Arkansas to pursue an internship with the Great American Conference at the beginning of 2012.  That period of isolation was one of the worst times of my life.  I worked with good people, and I had fun experiences, but I was so lonely.  I had been on eHarmony for a year or so, but moving away from Georgia hurt those connections.  I earned my Masters Degree at the end of 2012, but the lack of job opportunities in college athletics led me back to my parents’ house in Jonesboro, Georgia.  So, not only was I a grown man, I lived with my parents.  I took a job as a paraprofessional at a local public high school.  Paraprofessionals make a pittance, so I had no money to live off of.  I made no money, and I lived with my parents.  I felt that my ability to find my wife was non-existent.  I had lost all hope.  I met a girl through eHarmony at the start of the 2012-13 school year, and we ended up falling in love.  We dated into the 2013-14 school year, and I prayed and prepared to marry her.  I learned a lot about what it takes to be a marriageable guy.  I had Fight Club training, and now I had a woman to use that training on.  Still, I was limited by my living situation and paraprofessional salary.  The girl could not take it anymore, and we broke up in November 2013.  One week away from our one year anniversary.  It’s poetic and ironic.  I was not broken or angry about this break up.  In fact, I was relieved!  I felt free.  That’s a good sign that it was not the right relationship for me.  Still, I wondered how a guy like me could find another girl who met my standards.  I outlined my standards in another blog post, so you can go read about those thoughts later.  Fortunately, I didn’t have to look far.  The girl and I broke up on a Tuesday night, and that Thursday night I was out to dinner with the woman I’m going to marry in 2 weeks.  God had a plan all along.

Let me tell you about my bride to be.  (I hope Bethany doesn’t mind!)  I consider this the culmination of many years of prayer, tears, arguing with God, praising God, etc.  I met Bethany New in a Sunday School class that I taught at Community Bible Church in 2013.  Ironically, I was dating that other girl at the time.  Bethany and I became friends on Facebook, and we started chatting during Marvel: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  We got to know each other through Facebook and text messages, so after my breakup she was the woman I was speaking to the most.  We met for dinner, spent a few hours talking, and we just grew from there.  It took about a month for me to ask her to be my exclusive girlfriend.  I know that is a very short amount of time, considering I had just broken off a year-long relationship, but like I said before, I was ready.  I did not need time to mourn or heal from a lost relationship like I had back in 2009.  I knew who I was as a man, I knew my limitations, and my ex decided she wanted more.  That’s fine.  Bethany wanted me.  So, on December 23 I asked Bethany to be my girlfriend.  On April 10, 2014, I asked her to be my wife.  And in 2 weeks, on October 4, we will be married.  I mentioned an earlier blog post about the standards I had for my wife.  My ex met those standards, but it wasn’t a good fit.  Bethany meets those standards, and we are a perfect fit.  It’s crazy how quickly our relationship has progressed, but it’s also very evident that this was the way God intended things to go.  I do not take this relationship lightly at all.  Marriage is a life-long commitment, but Bethany is the one I want to come home to at night.  I look forward to living out my Fight Club training through this marriage.  My goal is to reach the end of my life and present Bethany to God more holy than when He first brought us together.  I cannot do that on my own.  I am a failed and flawed man.  I have the Holy Spirit, and a relationship with Jesus Christ though.  He is all I need.  I won’t be perfect, but He is perfect, and I’m so excited for this new adventure of marriage.  Also, God has finally paid off my patience, and allowed me to be hired as a full English teacher at Hampton High School starting September 24.  So, I will no longer be poor and living with my parents.  I will be stable and living with my wife.  My whole life is a testament to God’s faithfulness and provision.  I could write many more pages about this, but I will end this assignment here.

For the Kingdom,

Stuart L. Kingsley

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Satan's Not Dead

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly places."  (Ephesians 6:12)

If you're an 8-12 yr old kid at Camp Icthus who chooses to take my Rifle class, then this is one of your memory verses.  I, myself, learned this verse when I was a camper at Camp Icthus some 20 years ago.  This verse inspired Frank E. Peretti to write my favorite book This Present Darkness, which is a spiritual warfare fiction book.

Let's face it, in pretty much every book we read, and every movie we watch, the best ones pit Good vs. Evil.  Some side is "Good" and some side is "Evil", and we usually pick a side to root for.  But, honestly, we want the hero to overcome.  We want there to be some final happy union.  Sometimes it's fun to root for the bad guy even though we know they are ultimately doomed.  In those stories we find escape from the "real world".

But take a look at the real world.  The battle between God and Satan is as evident today as it was in Biblical times.  We know that Satan is ultimately doomed because the created can never be better than the Creator, no matter how hard it tries.  Satan invited Man to join him in his rebellion.  His false promise was that we could be like God, having knowledge of good and evil.  The problem with that is, once we realized the evil, we discovered our potential for it, and it consumed us.  Satan was expelled from God's presence, and he wants to take as many people with him into the outer darkness as he can.  Satan's main argument is "it's not fair".  We wave the flag of Free Will, but reject all consequence.

We like to enjoy God's gift of sex, but we don't want to worry about the emotional consequences of uncommitted sex.  Sex leads to procreation, whether we want it to or not, so we have no problem sacrificing our unborn child on the altar to our Self.  In Biblical times, the god was Molech.  Child sacrifice has been happening since the Fall, for various reasons, and to various gods.  Here in America we've progressed beyond deities and raised ourselves up as gods.  We ask God to stay out of our lives, yet blame Him when we perceive His failure to intervene.  We see bad things happen, and claim that a loving God can't exist.  He warned us not to touch the skillet on the stove, yet we got burned.  We blame Him that we got burned.  If your child started blaming you for things like that, eventually you would physically remove them from the kitchen while you were cooking.  And then the child will blame you for pushing them away.  And nobody has to teach the child to do that.  Nobody has to teach kids to misbehave.  In fact, discipline is vital to form them into decent humans, on any standard.  Or we can avoid the children altogether by killing them before they're even born.  In more ancient times, the child could only be slaughtered after birth, and seeing that horror caused discomfort, so we devised ways to do the job without having to actually see the child.  I hear a lady posted a video of her abortion recently?  I don't even want to touch that can of worms.  It would horrify me.  Children become an inconvenience rather than a blessing.  And the main excuse is that the kid wouldn't have good quality of life anyway.  How do we know?  No, this is a direct attack from Satan.  He exerts a lot of effort fighting over people who are already born, so he has another front to take them out before they have a chance to hear about God.  He doesn't want any new people entering the fight who could potentially join the winning team.  Beneath it all, you need to see the root of the problem.

And then once the murder is complete he wants the parents to bask in the shame and guilt of what they've done.  He doesn't want them to find the love and forgiveness that God still has for them.  He can blame Christians, sure.  And let's face it, many Christians would rather see the mother who aborted her child to suffer for it.  Few Christians want to gather around that woman and help her recover.  That's a shame.  Satan has distracted our troops, and that needs to stop too.  "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)  We have to realize that if we're truly in Christ His Spirit indwells us to lead us out of temptation.  We now have tools to fight back against Satan's lies.  No mistake that we can make is beyond His forgiveness.  Forgiveness does not exist aside from Jesus' sacrifice though.

Abortion is just the hot topic right now.  This can apply to anything.  I think I've already written a blog post about Abortion anyway.  "Insert sin here", Jesus died for it.  Jesus died for my Lust.  Jesus died for my Gluttony.  Yes, sometimes I find happiness in them, but they never satisfy.  I'm always left empty and wanting more.  They don't satisfy.  I struggle with temptation just like every other person.  Only I know who my enemy truly is.  I keep in mind that nobody has ever gone to Hell because of Satan.  When it boils down to it, he only has the power to coerce, talk, and tempt.  My own rebellion condemned me, but now I can see the liar for who he is because I know the Truth.  "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  No one comes to the Father except through me." -- Jesus (John 14:6)  Seeing the lies for what they are decreases the desire for them, and increases the desire for God's Truth.

So, to sum things up, know your enemy.  Don't preach free will and reject consequence.  Own your crap.  You can always find someone to agree with you, but when you're alone what do you think about?  God allows guilt to lead us back to Him.  Guilt leads to repentance.  Repentance leads to freedom.  Guilt that lingers is not from God.  Guilt that lingers is from Satan, and the lie is that God won't accept us.  That's a lie.  God is Truth.  It's becoming more evident every day that lines are being drawn.  I know where I stand.  Do you?

For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley

Thursday, June 19, 2014

New Babylon

Iraq is in the news again.  Let me start by saying that September 11, 2001 was a day I will never forget.  It was almost 13 years ago.  In the aftermath of 9-11 we went to war in Afghanistan.  Once we had troops in the Middle East, we quickly turned our sights to Iraq.  The arguments for war were passionate.  The arguments against war were passionate.  Passions all around.  Depose Saddam Hussein.  Get rid of weapons of mass destruction.  Bring democracy to Iraq.  Etc. Etc.

My initial thought was that if Saddam was funding terrorism, then it's good to find ways to de-fund terrorism.  Terrorism exists in so many facets.  A terrorist can be any person seeking to do unwarranted harm.  In American society since 9-11 "Terrorist" means "Muslim", and we've become wary of any Muslim.  (Be honest)  The problem is, there is no Terrorist nation that we can declare war on.  Branding the attack on the Taliban, or Al-Qaeda, as the "War on Terror" was a huge mistake, in my opinion.  There is no victory condition.  Terrorism is a figurative hydra (Hail Hydra).  You can't chop it's head off.  You have to bleed it out.  So, attacking Iraq as a source of funding (hydra blood) was an okay idea for me.  My biggest problem was that there was no real exit strategy or victory condition.  Sure, we can go in and depose Saddam, but then what?  Well, there was proposed Reconstruction, and planting the seeds of democracy.  It all sounded very nice at the time, but we knew going in that democracy wouldn't survive over there.  Israel is the only democracy, and it is not a peaceful one.  They live in a constant state of war readiness.  Islam reigns over there, but even then there are two sects of Islam who don't get along.  I admit I need to do more research on Sunnis vs. Shi'ites.

There was no concrete reason to go to Iraq.  Democrats said it was a war for oil (and complain about gas prices.  I do too.  I can't believe it really was $.50/gallon at one point!).  Republicans said we were going to war to remove weapons of mass destruction.  No nuclear weapons were supposedly found; however, there were lots of biological and chemical weapons that could kill a lot of people without destroying physical property (which some would say is better than a nuke laying waste to valuable resource areas for decades).  It depends on your definition of "mass destruction".  I remember watching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart years ago, and Jon had General Georges Sada from Iraq.  General Sada was Saddam's commander of the air force.  General Sada wrote a book, and testified on The Daily Show, that he had all of Iraq's weaponry airlifted to Syria before the US invasion commenced.  That's a testimony from the mouth of the man who oversaw it, and it was conveniently hidden by the media.  I was outraged that it didn't get more press.  It didn't fit the anti-war narrative that the media championed though.  So I was looking at Syria.  Syria has a lot of problems right now too, and America is giving them a stern facial expression.  Al-Assad is gassing his people, probably with gas he got from Iraq.  So, America apparently didn't find anything because it was sent to Syria.

So then we spent many years in Iraq trying to get things set up and figured out.  And now, in 2014, with America withdrawn from Iraq, the Islamist State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS...I'm waiting to see if Archer uses that gem next season.) has blitzkrieged their way into control of Iraq, making things worse than they were under Saddam.  Americans of both parties predicted that would happen.  If we removed Saddam without putting something in his place, things would get worse.  We said we would replace it with democracy.  We were wrong.  We said we would train the new Iraqi Army to be able to defend Iraq.  We were wrong.  ISIS came in quickly.  They are well-funded, and well-equipped.  And now blame is flying everywhere.

I have lived this.  I still don't know how to fully explain it!  It has been 13 years since 9-11, and I'm not even talking much about Afghanistan in this post!  My main thought on Afghanistan was:  They've never been conquered because they can hide and wait out any invaders.  You can't win a war where the enemy's victory condition is "don't lose".  The Taliban could retreat into Pakistan when they needed to, and we couldn't stop them.  And then we find Osama bin Laden in Pakistan, and nobody is angry with Pakistan?!  I won't go into that.  I need more time to organize my thoughts.

I have no answers.  I just wanted to put my thoughts on paper.  I am supremely proud of every American warfighter who answered the call, did their duty, is still over there, and who will be sent back (crap).  I support them.  I pray for them.  I just wish we had more patriotism in this country.  I wish we had a government that wouldn't limit your supplies.  You're the ones who have to live in the desert and fight a determined enemy while politicians comfortably toss your lives around.  We didn't want you to have to go in the first place, we brought you home, and now they're talking about sending you back.  I wish I knew what to do.

There will be a lot of blame going around.  *sigh*

Let me tie this in with the Bible a bit while I'm thinking about it.  Look at the regions and enemies of the Israelites:

Philistines - Palestine
Syrians - Syria (Damascus is mentioned a lot)
Assyrians - Iraq/Syria
Babylonians - Iraq
Persians - Iran

Names written in the Bible thousands of years ago are still very relevant today.  They all still want Israel gone.  I don't just watch these happenings as an American.  I watch them as a Christian too.  I can post more later when I have more thoughts.

For the Kingdom,
Stuart L. Kingsley

Friday, April 11, 2014

The End of Me

Singleness...

I've sat through the sermons.  I've heard the stories.  I've given God all the glory.  Every single person will tell you that their singleness is a blessing.  Every single person will tell you it sucks to be single.  I sat there as a single man with all of my married friends speaking into me with tones I took as condescending (I know they were just trying to be nice.  I was the jerk.)  Yesterday I put my singleness to death.

Singleness does have it's own inherent value.  Obviously, I needed to be single for 28 years.  I had a lot of growing to do.  Heck, I still have a lot of growing to do!  I won't be done growing until I die, and then I will spend eternity growing even more.  That's the beauty of life though, even eternal life.  We get to grow.  We get that joy of learning new things.  When you're single, you get to know who you are.  You learn about yourself.  You learn about who God is to you, and what your life looks like through His eyes.  I learned how I truly needed a Savior, and that took me 23 years!  I learned that my life is not my own.  It took God closing all of the doors I wanted to run through, and opening some I was scared to walk through.  He got me to the point where I have to solely rely on His provision.  And that is the beautiful thing.  He is Worthy.  He is the only One who is.  God also showed me that He is to be feared.  He showed me that He has the final say in everything.  He can take things away, He can kill me when He wants to, etc.  Make no mistake, God is worthy of fear, awe, and respect.  Through His Word He told me several times, "I'm God.  Shut up."  I love that though.  He also told me that He loves me, and He wants me in His presence.  He adopted me, and He wants me to be a co-heir with His Son.  Me, a wretch who earned wrath, a co-heir with the Son who took all of that wrath on Himself undeservedly.  Oh, I got to know who I am.  I got to know who God is.  I got to know who God is to me, and what my life looks like through His eyes.

These past two weeks I had a decision to make.  Do I get engaged?  Do I pursue a marriage with this woman I've fallen in love with?  It isn't just the engagement.  Sure, who wouldn't want to be engaged?  You get to show off a pretty ring, and everyone is happy.  I saw the outpouring of love and congratulations firsthand on Facebook and via text and phone calls.  April 10, 2014, was a great day!  Now it's April 11.  I didn't ask Bethany New to be my fiancee.  I asked her to be my wife.  I asked her to marry me, not just engage me.  I knew that one act would mean the death of my singleness.  For a man, autonomy is important.  (I know that is an understatement)  Still, I felt God telling me I was ready.  It took 28 years.  Twenty-eight long years!  But looking into her eyes yesterday...28 years felt like a brief moment.

I hated when God moved me back home to Jonesboro.  I reluctantly went back to Community Bible Church.  I threw tantrums.  But now I'm plugged into Community, and I'm happy and growing.  Moving back home meant moving 10 minutes away from the woman I plan to marry (I just didn't know it 2 years ago).  You get to a point (many points) in life where you look at God and say "Daw, you did it again!" and He just smiles.  I've written blog posts about Habakkuk 1:5 before, and God just smiles when He shows me those moments that I wouldn't have believed had He told me about them 2 years ago.  When I sat in Sunday School with Bethany last year the farthest thing on my mind was for my ring to be on her finger.  Seriously, it's mind-blowing.  One of the first things that led to me being with Bethany was her Christmas gift to me.  She put Habakkuk 1:5 into a nice font with a nice background and framed it for me.  God does things like that :)  I honestly have no idea what my future holds after May.  I mean, I have a plan, but God could change that in a moment with one e-mail or phone call.  No, these past two weeks have been all about Bethany :)

About two weeks ago I drove to meet with Bethany's father to ask his permission to marry Bethany.  It was a Tuesday around 4:30pm.  As I was driving North on I-75 from Exit 212 I passed Bethany and her mom.  I knew that her mom would take her home first, but I was heading to the parents' house.  As a man, the conversation is supposed to be man to man with the father.  So, I waved and hit the gas!  I-75 and I-675 split.  I-675 is quicker to the parents' house, and I-75 is quicker to Bethany's house, so I knew they would take 75.  I took 675.  I hit the red light at the end of the exit ramp, and Bethany and her mother pull up right behind me!  They knew what was up, especially when I turned into the parents' neighborhood.  Again, God loves irony with me.  So I spent about an hour talking with Bethany's parents.  I got their permission and blessing.  It became very real.

That Friday I bought an engagement ring.  It got even more real!  Fortunately, I had to wait for it to be delivered, or I may have proposed a lot sooner!  Then I don't see Bethany for a week.  I got to spend that week soul-searching.  When she came back, my mind was already made up.  I had a very important question to ask her.  I just worried about when and how.  I realized that we speak so much about waiting for God that we forget He waits for us sometimes too.  I felt God telling me "I'm waiting for you now, kid!"

This past Tuesday I helped Bethany plant flowers in her yard.  This past Wednesday I mowed her lawn.  I love that she invests in her home, and since I wanted to marry her, I knew I needed to start investing too.  Thursday I brought the ring with me to her house as we were planning to eat a nice lunch together then go to the Braves game.  I didn't know how to do it, or when to do it, all I knew was that I wanted to ask her to marry me.  Around 1pm I got up to check the timer for the fish/veggie bake.  The timer read 27 minutes.  I felt like there was no better time than the present.  I didn't want to sit on the couch next to my girlfriend anymore.  I didn't want to date her anymore.  I wanted to sit on the couch next to my fiancee.  I wanted to marry her.  So, I just got down on one knee while she was on the couch with her iPad.  I rendered her speechless.  I could tell it shocked her.  She eventually said yes though :)  Then I had a nice lunch with my fiancee.  Then I took my fiancee to a Braves game.

Eventually I won't have to say goodnight/see you later anymore, but it's just something I will have to endure for now.  It's hard being apart from the person you want to join yourself to for the rest of your life.  Even in the time I do have away from her, I'm writing about her :)  And I'm on my way out the door to be with her :)

So, singleness is dead.  It's time is over.  Parts of it I will miss, and parts I won't.  Now begins the story of Stuart and Bethany together.  I'll still need God (more than ever!) but now I get to learn who Bethany New is.  I get to learn who I am through her eyes.  I get to experience what God wants to use our marriage for.  I know that I will not get out of this alive, and I don't want to.  There are now new challenges to face, but I am ready to go through them because I won't have to go through them alone.  I feel I've been blessed with a solid group of guys around me, and I pray that those relationships grow.  We have two supportive families behind us as well.  Even though it took 28 years, I feel life is just beginning.  I'm scared, excited, nervous, and joyful all at the same time.  I'm not perfect, but God is.  My life is His and my life is hers.  Stay tuned :)

For the Kingdom
-- Stuart L. Kingsley

Saturday, March 1, 2014

I Have Too Much On My Plate

Maybe I should rename this blog, "Dawg With A Blog".  Disney can't sue me since the spelling is different.  No, "Sticks and Stones" is my life.

This morning I went to the FCA South Metro meeting at Strong Rock Christian School.  I did not want to go, I will be honest.  You wonder if you can actually say that you have an FCA group when there are 2 students who show up.  With the FCA powerhouses like Jonesboro (I couldn't say that sentence 10 years ago, btw, when I was there) and Eagles Landing (I said this every day about 10 years ago LoL) do they really want to deal with Locust Grove?  I could sense disappointment from my superiors.  So, I didn't want to go.  My beautiful girlfriend told me last night, however, that going wouldn't be for me.  It would be for God.  Also, I really enjoy seeing what God is doing around me because we are commanded to look beyond our own circumstances (for our own good).  So, I went...

...and I had the spiritual equivalent of having my face melted by an amazing rock concert.  Seriously, there were only about 25 people there munching on CFA biscuits and some Dunkin.  We had two guys with guitars and one guy with a percussion box; we sang 2 songs.  It was quiet, but powerful.  South Metro Atlanta FCA Director Mike Roby gave a "view of South Metro FCA from 30,000 feet", and the Spirit just confirmed something He had been speaking into me for weeks.  The Bible uses the metaphor of planting (sower) and harvesting (reaping) a lot.  The Bible is also very clear that many times the sower isn't around to reap the harvest.  Locust Grove FCA is 2 years old.  Literally.  Terrible Two's were evident in my personal tantrums last semester.  I have since repented, and grown.  Mike encouraged us about future generations who he is currently ministering to in the Locust Grove area who will come up to high school in a few years.  We already have a solid ministry on our Football team at Locust Grove thanks to some unyielding coaches.  God has opened the doors at Locust Grove, and I am so very happy to be a part of that.  I don't even know if I will be at LGHS next year.  I don't know where I'll be, period.  I just want to finish this year strong.  Mike Roby was so encouraging, and it was exactly what I needed to hear.  I may not see the harvest, but I know it is coming.

Next, the president of Jonesboro's FCA got up to speak about outreach.  Jonesboro averages over 100 attendees to their meeting every week.  When I was at Jonesboro over a decade ago, we were plagued by infighting.  I had 3 FCA leadership camps under my belt in high school, and we still didn't have an FCA in anything more than the name.  I dealt with frustration back then, but I am seeing a harvest now.  That's the scope of my God.  He gets all the praise for that one.  That made me so happy.  Go Cardinals!  Hail to thee, my alma mater.

And it didn't end there.  Union Grove Middle School FCA sponsor Brad Holloway was the keynote speaker.  They made a joke about him taking a long time to speak, but let me tell you, we were all ready to spend all day listening to him.  My face literally melted, I was wiping away tears.  There was so much to take in, so many verses thrown out, I grasped all around for some nugget.  What I took away from it was "obey what you already know, and go from there."  He also spoke about Philemon verse 6 that says, "and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ."  Basically the overarching theme was "obedience".  Stop waiting for God to move, He already moved at Pentecost.  We already have the Spirit.  We don't have to wait.  We have Him, and He has the power.  This week I made some solid personal decisions in my life, and I have basically come to the point where I crave opportunities to obey.  I'm tired of waiting to be ready.  I'll never be completely ready.  Growth comes from action, from learning from mistakes, etc.  I was rebuked by a man I respect this week, and I am thankful for it.  I'm looking forward to seeing how I grow from that encounter.  This has just been a pretty powerful week.

Another word about Brad.  He reminds me of Jon Deans, a mentor of mine from Watkinsville First Baptist.  Both of them have made the point that it should be abhorrent for a Christian to be content with the world seeing them as a "good person".  God forbid Jesus died so that we could just be "good people".  Jon said he doesn't want anyone walking into Hell saying "Jon Deans was a good man."  I do not want anyone to walk into Hell saying "Stuart Kingsley was a good man."  I am a wretch, people.  I just serve an amazing God.  I would rather you hate me on earth, and see you in Heaven, than you be my best friend here and end up in Hell.

So, I have a lot on my plate.  Everyone knows you eat the stuff you don't like first in order to savor the things you do like, but I want everything on my plate to be salted by the Spirit.  I want my cup to overflow into the lives of the people around me while I drown in His love and power.  Whether I'm serving in a classroom, or sweating at CrossFit, or loving the beautiful woman God put in my life, I want to advance the Kingdom.

And, a shout out to CrossFit Essentials.  You guys are awesome.  Thank you for being so encouraging!  I hope to get better, but you never make me feel inferior.  I love that community.

Thanks for reading!

For the Kingdom
-- Stuart L. Kingsley